They were naked already. I wish they would update this program to let the author re-edit stories. This was a great story and look forward to these two making love again!
the story started out of comforting his sister when she was having a bad dream . I bet that wouldn't happen in real life with some one you had just met . its amazing how much trust and love some sisters have for there brothers
Can't wait to read more! Keep it up, just watch for minor grammatical errors, spelling and continuity as you post. There wasn't much, though, so, great job!
I loved it. Great description and the dialogue was pretty believable, which is always hard to do. Keep it up!
by
Anonymous03/22/14
They had already stripped down. What clothing?
Anyhow, a minor possible continuity goof away from being a superior bro-sis teaser tale. I wouldn't call it a quickie as it was too short to get into before it was over. As the intro to a longer tale, I'd say I prefer a more detailed buildup before the whole "taking of his little sister's virginity" action on the very first page. This is kind of where you'd normally end up in such a story, not start out.
It might be interesting to see where you lead your readers from here. If it's going to become some extended-family, rampant sex-fest in the next chapter, I'm done.
by
Anonymous03/22/14
Too Good.
Thats quite a narration.
Culd really feel the softness n hardness in d characters..
Cant wait to read more..
by
Anonymous09/07/14
I have hope in this story
I agree on one thing. I just can't stand those incestuous stories that end up in family orgies. It's confusing when they tell each other 'I love you' because we readers might really think they're in love and actually it's just a moment after sex when you're all high and calming down the lust. I honestly have no idea where this story is heading to, but I would really like to find out and I'm just hoping this is not when you don't update in, like two years or more.
English
Only one minor issue
They were naked already. I wish they would update this program to let the author re-edit stories. This was a great story and look forward to these two making love again!
A brief moment...
Funny, how a brief moment can define the rest of your life.
hummm
the story started out of comforting his sister when she was having a bad dream . I bet that wouldn't happen in real life with some one you had just met . its amazing how much trust and love some sisters have for there brothers
good story
This story was awesome just wished their was a lil more of a build up before they got together
Great Start!
Can't wait to read more! Keep it up, just watch for minor grammatical errors, spelling and continuity as you post. There wasn't much, though, so, great job!
Very hot
I loved it. Great description and the dialogue was pretty believable, which is always hard to do. Keep it up!
They had already stripped down. What clothing?
Anyhow, a minor possible continuity goof away from being a superior bro-sis teaser tale. I wouldn't call it a quickie as it was too short to get into before it was over. As the intro to a longer tale, I'd say I prefer a more detailed buildup before the whole "taking of his little sister's virginity" action on the very first page. This is kind of where you'd normally end up in such a story, not start out.
It might be interesting to see where you lead your readers from here. If it's going to become some extended-family, rampant sex-fest in the next chapter, I'm done.
Too Good.
Thats quite a narration.
Culd really feel the softness n hardness in d characters..
Cant wait to read more..
I have hope in this story
I agree on one thing. I just can't stand those incestuous stories that end up in family orgies. It's confusing when they tell each other 'I love you' because we readers might really think they're in love and actually it's just a moment after sex when you're all high and calming down the lust. I honestly have no idea where this story is heading to, but I would really like to find out and I'm just hoping this is not when you don't update in, like two years or more.
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