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English
A good start
You really need some serious proofreading. A 'worriers body'?
The story he potential. Good character development.
Wait...
You can't tell someone the made spelling mistakes and then say "The story he potential".
Good, but you really do need proofreading.
@ EveEden
yes you can. that's the point of constructive criticism
Awesome
This has been my favorite story in literotica and I have read A LOT of their stories
Loved it!
This has the makings of a really good story, but correcting basic grammatical errors takes away from the reading experience.
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