All Comments  for

The Railway Trip

bybe24you©
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Comments (8)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous03/31/14

Maybe erotic couplings?

Sure ain't romance. Sluts and cheaters? Yep. Not an honest person here. Disgusting

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by Anonymous03/31/14

Swede Fare

Where swapping is a common and bastards borne from them swaps are abundant.

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by Prfsr03/31/14

Please continue

Please continue and tell of the rest of the trip...what they do at the ski resort.

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by Erotonaut03/31/14

Happily married?

For a couple who supposedly love each other, George and Mary spend virtually no time considering Adam and Anne's offer. Indeed, Mary's only concerns appear to be the size of her breasts and whether she'll be able to accommodate Adam's cock (how unsurprising that it should be larger than George's).

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by Anonymous03/31/14

This ain't no fucking romance.

1*

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by chilleywilley03/31/14

Could have used some rewrites

Be24:
It seemed a little glib. The decision to swap especially for the first time, probably shouldn't be done in all. Everybody packing condoms? Likewise no second thoughts about it's effect on the marriage? Plus I can't imagine if it was enjoyable the first time, I can't imagine they wouldn't have fucked at least a couple of times.
And one word usage I find irritating "Adam seemed to respond to my longing eyes" almost always the word 'seemed' is used to indicate false modesty, and the sentence is better without it. Maybe it;s just me.

Anyway, I thought it was a good story, but could have been a very good story with some rewrites. An editor might have helped, or just somebody to read it over for you.

Chilley .

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by Anonymous04/02/14

NOT ROMANCE POST IT WHERE IT BELONGS YOU COWARD AND STOP SPREADING THIS SHIT, BUT THEN WHEN IS LIT GOING TO STICK TO ITS OWN RULES ABOUT POSTING?!

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by Anonymous04/03/14

Total fucking crap by A Wanker

Never read such shit in all my life

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