I thought the story was pretty good. I love the concept or the plot. I thought it could be a little longer, but I think the thing that really hurt it was it was not descriptive enough. Little things like, you went from fumbling with the fly of her jeans to getting on top of him. I thought at first she still had her jeans on. I am a fan of short stories, but bring us along with everything, not make us figure it out!
A little longer
I thought the story was pretty good. I love the concept or the plot. I thought it could be a little longer, but I think the thing that really hurt it was it was not descriptive enough. Little things like, you went from fumbling with the fly of her jeans to getting on top of him. I thought at first she still had her jeans on. I am a fan of short stories, but bring us along with everything, not make us figure it out!
Concept was great!
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