- All
Comments (4) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
A Compliment, Coupled With Advice:
You need an editor, BADLY! Your story is very good but you have quite a few issues that disturb the flow of the story and keeps readers from truly enjoying your work. When you get an editor, have them to not only polish your finished work but to also help you understand your missteps. Below are things that you can work on:
Missing words within sentences
Misspelled words
Words used in the wrong context
Using incorrect tense (past, present or future tense)
Incomplete sentence structure
Misuse of adjectives
Proper editing makes a good writer, a great one. Good luck!
Still spelling
It's better than the first two chapters. you said you had someone proofreading, but yes you should get someone else because they were making the same mistakes eg he gnarls. As far as I know 'gnarls' is not a word (gnarled as in a tree is). I think you meant snarls and it is constantly corrected as gnarls. A few mistakes I don't mind, but the same ones repeatedly are really annoying.
Definition of gnarl (s) used
gnarl
verb (used without object)
to growl; snarl.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gnar ls?s=t
Too bad
Ok then. I've had enough. Way too many mistakes against english as well as logic.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to A Demon's Embrace Ch. 04 or
More submissions by sexydemondelight.