The portrayal of a tender back story between the two and their love for each other is electrifying. This story is really good, and about the rape, it was a moment of both betrayal and realization. Both were very powerful, don't listen to the nay-sayers, it was appropriate with how broken Gabriel felt and made so much more exhilarating with the tenderness of their relationship. All in all, keep writing, this is now one of my favorite stories on this site. Longer chapters please, that's my only request.
by
Anonymous03/27/14
Ugh, seriously? "I raped you but you liked it because you had an orgasm." Fuck off with this.
This story could have been awesome without Elle getting raped by him.
I thought that maybe he'd come home drunk and confess unwittingly to her, and that she'd freak out and run to her room and think about it and slowly realize her attraction.
Something along those lines. But no, I guess it's way easier to just throw down the "she's violently raped but her body responds to the sensations which MUST mean she likes it" card.
how many times does a rape victim fall in love with the rapist?how many times does a relationship where loves was already present last after a rape by 1 of the partners?if either of those happen then this story will only get worse.she should take her ass straight the hospital report the rape and have his ass arrested.so he can see how excited he will get when he has his ass raped and gets excited from it.saying your mine and then raping her is the worst way to show her you love so take down the first 2 ch and start over without it.
by
Anonymous03/29/14
How was the misunderstanding intentional, she said herself she wasn't a virgin, did she get confused on what that means
by
Anonymous08/14/14
Love it
I loved it ... I hope she catches Alec with Hayden lol and whatever I like it better that she is a virgin just a little rewrite no biggy. I love how possessive Gab is saying "mine" and "I own you" that's hot. Can't wait for more .... Hopefully sooner this time :)
Even for erotica that is a stretch...even worse is how she then 'likes' it and THAT MUST mean she is going to fall for him...
If you are going to use a plot, old or new, make sure it is one that doesn't distract from the story.
Raping somebody, let alone a 'sister', is going to get a reaction. For all the people that think it is 'hot', how many said 'ew' and how many more read to that point and stopped reading? Never got far enough to leave a comment?
The miswrite about her virginity was bad enough...but that can be edited. Which you need to do for conventional reasons a few places as well...
Fix this one and go try another...not horrible writing, just not quite a good sense of where to stop with subject matter. Good luck!
English
Moar!!!
Awesome, don't make us wait 6 months for the next update
Like i said
You can't make up for the rape . Never going to happen . Could've been a good story without it .
* *
Not even a handjob?
Beautiful
The portrayal of a tender back story between the two and their love for each other is electrifying. This story is really good, and about the rape, it was a moment of both betrayal and realization. Both were very powerful, don't listen to the nay-sayers, it was appropriate with how broken Gabriel felt and made so much more exhilarating with the tenderness of their relationship. All in all, keep writing, this is now one of my favorite stories on this site. Longer chapters please, that's my only request.
Ugh, seriously? "I raped you but you liked it because you had an orgasm." Fuck off with this.
This story could have been awesome without Elle getting raped by him.
I thought that maybe he'd come home drunk and confess unwittingly to her, and that she'd freak out and run to her room and think about it and slowly realize her attraction.
Something along those lines. But no, I guess it's way easier to just throw down the "she's violently raped but her body responds to the sensations which MUST mean she likes it" card.
l liked it!
Keep up the good work,but make the story longer.
how many times does a rape victim fall in love with the rapist?how many times does a relationship where loves was already present last after a rape by 1 of the partners?if either of those happen then this story will only get worse.she should take her ass straight the hospital report the rape and have his ass arrested.so he can see how excited he will get when he has his ass raped and gets excited from it.saying your mine and then raping her is the worst way to show her you love so take down the first 2 ch and start over without it.
How was the misunderstanding intentional, she said herself she wasn't a virgin, did she get confused on what that means
Love it
I loved it ... I hope she catches Alec with Hayden lol and whatever I like it better that she is a virgin just a little rewrite no biggy. I love how possessive Gab is saying "mine" and "I own you" that's hot. Can't wait for more .... Hopefully sooner this time :)
so good
Come back, please!!!!
"I raped you because I Love you!"
Even for erotica that is a stretch...even worse is how she then 'likes' it and THAT MUST mean she is going to fall for him...
If you are going to use a plot, old or new, make sure it is one that doesn't distract from the story.
Raping somebody, let alone a 'sister', is going to get a reaction. For all the people that think it is 'hot', how many said 'ew' and how many more read to that point and stopped reading? Never got far enough to leave a comment?
The miswrite about her virginity was bad enough...but that can be edited. Which you need to do for conventional reasons a few places as well...
Fix this one and go try another...not horrible writing, just not quite a good sense of where to stop with subject matter. Good luck!
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