The 9-5 Struggle

GOOD READ, COULD BE EXCELLENT WITH A LITTLE EDITING

This could be an excellent piece of writing if the grammatical errors and wrong use of syntax did not interfere with the narration. I personally would like to know more about each of the characters. Apart from a frustrated woman -- how old? -- with perky nipples and a muscular coworker in a shirt two sizes too small, we know nothing about either protagonist. But, having said all that, I must also say I enjoyed reading it, CONGRATULATIONS AND THANKS FOR SUBMITTING. KEEP WRITING.

Good,but,,EDITOR!!

It was a decent start,although a bit choppy,and not much use of comma's,no clue where one sentence ended and another began,,,,outside the grammatical errors,it was good,not much into the slapping,and would like some background,keep writing,you will get it,,,

You didn't learn anything between this piece of garbage and your new one did you?