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Very nice
Initially, this was my favourite (of the then three). It expresses the feelings and situation poignantly.
My ‘but’ is that it is on a single note or theme. It lacks that extra bit to lift it to another level (as the last three lines do on ‘This song’). I think this is a particular issue for all love poems and poems complaining about an ex or in this case current partner. Writers are not always at their best when writing about any of these. Too many give way to self aggrandisement, self justification and self pity. This one does not. It is a very good poem. I do however think it would benefit and be a level better if an additional note or element were added. Only my opinion.
Thank you for your comment...
...Cleardaynow! I appreciate the thought you put into it! :)
The beginning is so searing
so the last two lines need more, something less expected. They let down a good poem.
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