Exhibitionism and a Good Fuck

It's too short and not detailed.

NEEDS WORK

First let me say your story has a lot of good points, so accept constructive criticism in the light which it's offered. #1 You need to work on punctuation. Strunk and White have a handbook which is good, I think it's included in author's helps; mine is hard-copy, and I assure you that when I got this same advice in a comment, I put it to good use. (You have a real problem with commas.) #2 Work on making your characters seem real. How likely is it that a group of three men will all be hung like John Holmes I repeat, for a first story this isn't bad, it just ould be much, much better.