by ScattySue
This is my first ever story (and hopefu not my last!) so please post any comments and feedback.
Sue
x
...and I hope not your last. I really enjoyed the story especially the awkwardness moment that cause a gap in their friendship. Nice touch bringing them back to the source of their confusion. It would have been nice to had a peek into their first lesbian experience, there's a mention of Trinny having a bad experience with a girl call Liz and Sue said she let a student seduce her but then later on she said never done that before (having sex with a woman) so what happened with the student was it just kissing and groping or was it more. Overall I loved it. And I'll keep a eye on your next story or stories.
PS: Be careful with the typing mistakes or like me sometimes, my thoughts are faster than the writing so I ended up with missing words in my sentences.
I hope it continues and that your fetish works its way in as well.
Get yourself a proof reader, apart from that a very good story. The few typo's distract from what was a very well written story. Keep it up
Thanks for an exceptionally good first story. You have the right stuff. The typo comments are important. Many of us(me) are partially dyslexic and easily mix up or leave out letters. So, have a woman friend proof for you. I'm really looking forward to your next story. You have potential; use it please.- ChristieP
Thanks for the feedback and sorry for the errors. I've corrected and edited the story very slightly based on the comments and am working on Part 2.
Sue
x
You need to really watch the typos. Do NOT rely on any computer program to protect the quality of your work. Your stories are your dreams and fantasies and in a way your babies. Protect them carefully. Get yourself a proofreader definitely, but become your own toughest critic. Typos and mispellings or punctuation marks out of place seem like small things, but to the reader they are distracting. In the last few paragraphs one of the girls names changes from Trinity to Erin and this really threw me as I get really wrapped up in the characters of a story I am enjoying. This is a beautiful story that could have gone under 'Romance' as well as 'Lesbian', but I think 'Romance would have been more appropriate. They both admit to having and enjoying boyfriends so, though they prefer each other, they are really Bisexual. Trinity and Sue aren't just searching for a suitable Lesbian relationship, they are falling for each other. I liked your other story 'Overtime' also, but I thought there could have been a little more to it. Write more!
And it's your first story?! I'm Katrina and I'm Gay. Yes, I spotted a few typos, where you hit an T instead of an R, just small things. Nothing so distracting that I didn't enjoy reading your story.
So again Thank You, I enjoyed reading this story....
Gay Kat.
I am very touched with how you went about revealing their infatuation for each other.
Given your name and bio, I was hoping for some toilet play!
I believe the "Scatty" part of Sue's name refers to scatter brained not scatology. I very much enjoyed this story of a second chanch at love, the lesson here is to go for it when the time comes. Best of luck SS
Oh how I wished it was longer, but still, this was a very good story! thank you so much for sharing it with us!
Love your stories, and hope to read many more of them :)
For those who don't know, I and many others were tagged with Scatty followed by our name here in the UK. It does not always mean scatterbrained or disorganised, Scatty for a name is often used because we don't always act how others may expect us to. In my case for doing scatty and crazy things for devilment during my early teens, and knowing it would throw my friends.
Hallo, my very dear friend Sue,
I've read some of your stories, so many times love, that I can read them in English,,, yes..
And "A Second Bite at the Cherry", is definitely worth a second read,,, before reading "Haunted by Love", "Nemesis Visits", "A New Adventure Every Day",,, and even if I had to I don't think I could choose a favorite story! So love, there is only one logical choice,,, I choose "ScattySue", you love, as my favorite author!
5&5 _ 5-Stars and 5-Orgasms..
Your dyke friend,
Gay Kat.
xx
...have manged to get this off the Hot List, SHAME on them! It's such a sweet short story! ***** all the way!
Fine writing. I like the premise and the natural feel of the nudity and attraction plus awkwardness. Naturally, we want to see them consummate their feelings. Still, I sort of wish their coupling had been more tentative and exploratory; finding out about each other's sweet spots and seeing more of what made each woman attractive to the other. But the story works fine and you can have fun with another one.
Hallo Sue!
In my opinion your story "A Second Bite at the Cherry"... Sue and Trinny, definitely deserve a second chapter... and everyone of your fans and readers, that miss you, also deserve a chapter-2, lol
I sure miss reading your stories,,, yes!
Your kinky dyke friend, Gay Kat.. 💋
I agree with Gay Kat and some of the others: this story needs a chapter 2, at least. Delightful writing and lovely sex. Thank you.
A lovely story, beautifully told. The main points are lingered over in delightful detail: narrator Sue's feelings and psychology, and the physical sex. The attention and nice writing devoted to these elements makes it a great story!
Dear Sue,
I am glad to have stumbled upon your writings. You are a skilled and correct writer. More than that, you are a very fine storyteller. I have just savored the two "Gift" stories and the "Old Neighbors" saga. And now I've found and cherished this little gem.
I think you have an advantage being a woman -- in terms of your storytelling, I mean. You draw out the process of growing into womanhood and experiencing love and lovemaking with, I think, greater conviction and (apparent) verisimilitude.
If I might mention a piece of nitty-gritty that smacks of fantasy, at least to this American mind: I found it distracting that Sue and Trinity made love directly on the grass, without benefit of a blanket (or sleeping bag) beneath them. Are there no creepy crawlers in England? No mosquitos? No midges outside Scotland?
Everything of yours that I have read is top-notch. Unquestionably 5 stars!
GP
Opening your comment you wrote: "This has now been edited so it should be a much easier, error free read."
The first sentence of the story reads: "It has been four years since Trinity and went on our ill-fated camping trip;"
Should read "Trinity and I ..." This is a very distracting beginning and as a qualified English teacher, I can only state, you can do much better.