All Comments on 'Orc Dominion: Zentara Ch. 12'

by OrcDominion

Sort by:
  • 13 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

I can't say I'm too pleased with how it ended. Jeanette started off as a slutty but ultimately good princess, who genuinely cared about her people. For her to wantonly oblige the rape of the noble women as well as the human women of Heste was an unfortunate turn. She turned into a largely unlikable and unrelatable character for me.

The sex was fun though.

cittrancittranalmost 10 years ago
While I can't say I like the characters' developments...

I CAN say that I like the character development. (The actual development process, that is, not the end result.)

I understand the idea of a 'slippery slope' morality, which was what happened here, and, let's face it, circumstances were thrust upon Jeanette -- given the choice at the beginning, she certainly wouldn't have chosen to end up where she did.

That said, I'm not crazy about how it ended -- especially the orgy. Rape of prisoners of war? Fine. The Geneva Convention doesn't exist in this world, so I can understand that, and suspension of morality works fine there too. But raping the noblewomen in the palace?

That's too far for me. I'm sure plenty of them were bitches (statistically speaking, a LOT of conspiracies happen in court), but still. It doesn't sit right with me.

On the other hand, I don't think you could have announced 'Sequel' any more blatantly unless you actually said "I'm going to write a sequel", so there's that.

OrcDominionOrcDominionalmost 10 years agoAuthor
thanks

Thank you for the comments. I'm sorry you were not more pleased with how it ended. The story was originally much darker and non-consensual, which the ending still reflects. Please keep in mind that Jeanette was blindsided by the orgy as well though! I am writing a short story that helps fill the gap between the orgy and the epilogue that might put things in perspective and show that all is not as bleak as it seems.

I hope you come back to read it when it is done!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
i liked it

I really liked the ending and I think it was well suited to the story because as the title says Zentara becomes an Orc Dominion. I do wish that the story wasn't so rushed in that last few chapters but I am looking forward to those inevitable sequels.

OrcDominionOrcDominionalmost 10 years agoAuthor
cool

I am glad you liked it anon. It might be a little rushed...is there anything you would have liked to see at the end to fill it out a little?

syd_v63syd_v63almost 10 years ago
I'd have to side with Cittran

All in all this has been a fairly decent ride. In someways it was predictable (the Good Guys Won) but that didn't take away from the read. The sex was always peppered with Dom/Sub elements as well as over the top lost in lust passions. In general I liked it and have read every chapter diligently. However all things being equal Cittran has made some valid points.

In an effort to bring the story to a close and set the reader up for a continuation of the Orc World Series, some parts of this last chapter feel contrived. Sir Drake's demise happened far too easily and too quickly, with little or no fanfare afterward. Surely he'd be missed by someone, after all he has a network of connections. I almost wanted the author to let us glimpse the more of the "Whip" motif, it would have been a twist none of us saw coming.

The Orgy Sceene while exciting, felt contrived. It is not that I couldn't see the story heading there, as it does fit the previous direction of the other chapters, it's just that it happened too quickly and too conveniently. It gave this chapter the feeling of "tying up lose ends" rather than an evaluation of the stories natural continuum. I would've believed two separate celebrations, one Human and one Orc, with the Orc one getting out of hand and bleeding into the human world. The Orc one could've happened later that night as they celebrated in their own fashion and the raucous event could have very well seen all of the same happenings, with human spectators getting caught up in the feastivities either by consuming copious amounts of alcohol and following along or by too much human curiosity leading several Nobels to peer to deeply into the vail and become embroiled in the chaos that is Orcdom.

"Come dear husband let's see how the Queen fares with the Orc celebrations?"

"I'm told the Orcs are a vicious lot and it is best ladies of your stature not attend such functions."

"Oh dear husband you worry too much, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

And BAM!!! We have sexual rioting in the streets, cats living with dogs, horses and cows getting married, and madness I tell you madness.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

Thank you for uploading this nice Series.

I think my thoughts for the last chapter are also valid for the series as a whole:

I realy liked the diversified sex scenes. And you have done very well in writing them.

There are also elements of the story wich I realy liked (for example King Turoggs revelation of Jaenettes pregnancy) but i found the conclusion of the plot elements a bit forced and hurried. Sir Drake was pushed aside in an instant and I am sure you expected the whole rape-orgy thing to be controversial.

As I said the early princess-whore chapters are my favourite but I realy enjoyed the story as a whole and I look forward to reading fresh work from you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

Loved it from the start up until Jeanette became a plaything for Turogg, but it was enjoyable all the same. Early chapters pre-queen were my faves.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

I had been really quite enjoying the series but I found this last chapter to be a big disappointment. There seems to be a big tonal shift in the last three chapters of the series both in relation to the events and to Turogg's and Jeanette's relationship that is distasteful given the framing as well as the reversal of the characterisation of the orcs themselves.

Hunter15205Hunter15205almost 10 years ago
An otherwise good series with a blemish

This was the only chapter in the series I found to be disappointing. The rest of the chapters paid reasonable attention to the way feudal society worked but this one went out the window. Based on the other chapters of a fairly well crafted world and story the Queen is well aware of social dynamics of her kingdom. There's no way this sort of insult and humiliation happens to "every great noble family" and people don't die over it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Sandy

Well it was hot but not very believable. Judging by the start of the next part this is probably not canon though, so no complaints.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Huge fan of this story series, and how well you characterized and developed Jeanette in particular (both in this story and the following ones).

My only real gripe with this story in particular was the wedding orgy towards the end here. I felt when reading that part that it felt a little rushed and something of a forced reminder that the orcs, despite whatever progress Jeanette had made at 'civilizing' Turogg in their talks during their tour of war, were still fairly debased creatures ready to rape and pillage at a moments notice. That said, I didn't really even have issue with the orgy itself, only how...suddenly it occurred. If there had been more build-up to that orgy over the course of the guests drinking and partying in celebration, devolving into it as the night went on, it might have been less jarring. As it was, I can't honestly believe that any of the noble families involved, especially those whose men had their wives and/or daughters raped right in front of them while they were forced to watch, would have left that evening with anything other than hatred, revenge, or maybe even outright revolt against the queen and the orcs boiling inside them.

But, all things considered that's just a minor problem with an otherwise very enjoyable read.

OrcDominionOrcDominionalmost 8 years agoAuthor
Ending Orgy

Anon,

Thanks for the detailed feedback. The ending is definitely something that has been brought up before and I find the criticism valid. I recently wrote on my blog how I am planning to change and fix it. You can see the link to the blog on my bio page if you haven't already seen it.

I am glad you're enjoying the series!

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous