The Teacher and The Beach

Fine until mistake.

She didn't seem to mind and for Kyle would later congratulate himself on not letting his jaw drop right away..."

"For Kyle,..." what?!

nice again but

they keep getting shorter

sorry

wrong writer in mind

OK

It seemed a bit choppy and I do think you should spend more time proofreading aloud.

Great story!

Looking forward to many more chapters.

really great

A really great first attempt, a very sexy story. The ending was odd, but hopefully you can do something interesting with these characters in the next chapter!

A sexy story

The sex was pretty well written, but escalated too quickly. You could sLow it down a bit.

I had problems with all the one sentence paragraphs, starting with the weather (cliche') and the 9" cock.

Most women do not want to read "nine inch cock" or "38d breast." We prefer "ample cock" or "full breasts", the numbers / statistics only distract.

You did well with dialogue, although reading it out loud would have probably revealed extra words. Well done overall.

I love the teacher stories ......

And this ranks up high! Somewhat agree with the last commenter, as it would have been been EVEN MORE erotic with a slower escalation. But it's just another persons opinion and I'm not an author!

I hope that you do AT LEAST one more chapter as this story is hot and they have a whole week for spring break!

Gave it a 5

Appreciate the comments

Thanks for the comments and constructive criticism. This was the first story I've written in a while and I definitely did rush it a bit and it could definitely use a read through and edit.

I'll try to make the next one more polished and there will at least be a part two and maybe three. I'm not sure when I'll write it but probably sometime this week. I submitted another story that's still in pending, but if it gets through I'd appreciate any comments.

Let hear more about this hot vacation love teachers

Great Read

Hope this is just the first chapter. Thank You!

More More!

Give that handsome young man Kyle some chest hair -- he is 21 after all, and has matured some from high school. How about a hairy bush around that great cock?

Part 2 is coming

I submitted part 2 on Sunday and it's still in the pending. It should be up soon though.

Where is Chapter Two?

Good start keep it up.

Suggestion...

You really should look for an editor or at least proof read your work. The story is good, but all of the typos and the missing words really take away from the reader's experience. In the future, you should really look for someone to assist you with this. It would make your stories even better.