Three's A Party, Not A Crowd

Do you know how hard it is to read a story without proper punctuation its really hard thats what it is

It's embarrassing to read a story where the author doesn't seem to have a clue how to punctuate a story where to put in a comma or a period where to end a sentence and so on it's embarrassing because it's not rocket science it's basic grammar skills which the author apparently never learned or bothered to retain when they supposedly learned them.

Get the point?

Also, writing a story in the present tense almost always in failure. A story written this way might also be called "Stream of Consciousness" because they tend to sound like the author is making it up as they go along. Granted, most (almost all) the stories here ARE made up from the imaginations of the author, but there's a difference between a story that happens to be fictional, and a story that reads like the author isn't even trying to disguise as something he just pulled out of his ass.

It's like listening to a person share what they did over the weekend and thinking to yourself, "Oh, okay. Hmm..." and listening to someone else and thinking to yourself, "Bullshit, bullshit, and more bullshit."

Strike one: horrible punctuation. Strike two: horrible presentation. Strike three: even without the first two criticisms, this story still wouldn't have been very good.

Sexy story

Hope to read more of your writing. Thanks.

nice read, thanks for this.

Note 1 ; nicely written. My husband and I have been having pillow talk about this each scenario ; here's hoping this will really get things from pillow talk to play time.

Xx

Note 2 ; to the buffoon above why be so critical? If you don't like something don't read it or move along I don't remember you making any great contributions here so why are you on here I'm sure no one would miss you if you weren't I have tried hard to make note 2 as fragmented and long as possible without punctuation just because I know you like it like that

I'm surprised you say someone edited this. They clearly have no editing skills.

"We are all standing around the bed . Chrissy is just in sexy lingerie, whilst Greg is sitting on the bed next to her still fully clothed and I am standing just in my boxers shorts . My is cock is already fully erect and straining against the fabric , the head poking its way through the top of my shorts. I am trembling with nerves and anticipation . Chrissy moves forward and places a reassuring hand on my thigh. I look her up and down . Her erect nipples are clearly visible sticking out against the lacy bra . I continue to scan down and see a small damp patch on the front on her knickers.

That is editing.That's just the first paragraph. It gets worse

Sounds like the start of one of those stories you read in a titty magazine, and I myself was struggling to comprehend what was going on.

"I myself"?

What? As opposed to "I someone else"? Any editor who doesn't pick that up is not up to the job.

Kickers or Knickers?

The list goes on and on and on.

Grammer

Lol people critising a porn story for the grammar, btw it not that bad, is akin to critising a porn film for it's wooden acting and plot holes.