You go to a hotel that is mostly reserved for a family reunion. A woman comes and sits by you who is clearly there for the reunion. But you never ask how or who she's related to?
by
Anonymous05/05/14
Promising start
Love to see you develop these two more. Also, I wonder why his father and her mother had a falling out? Maybe there is more to that story and her origin ;)
Your story shows promise but it is way too short. Content is ok but needs to be explored a lot more. There is so much more you could've done with this couple. If you do write more about them though, please get an editor because you have no clue about mechanics, particularly sentence structure. Aside from the stereotypical D-cups, the storyline is fine, but you really should have explored the dynamic a lot more than you did.
OK
You go to a hotel that is mostly reserved for a family reunion. A woman comes and sits by you who is clearly there for the reunion. But you never ask how or who she's related to?
Promising start
Love to see you develop these two more. Also, I wonder why his father and her mother had a falling out? Maybe there is more to that story and her origin ;)
surprise they are brother and sister as were the parents that dont talk anymore hence the reason for the blow up
grace
Forget the comments from the other jerks...I loved it..
keep going.! 99f8
Work on it
Your story shows promise but it is way too short. Content is ok but needs to be explored a lot more. There is so much more you could've done with this couple. If you do write more about them though, please get an editor because you have no clue about mechanics, particularly sentence structure. Aside from the stereotypical D-cups, the storyline is fine, but you really should have explored the dynamic a lot more than you did.
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