Love is Complicated

Pushy overly dominant bastard

Hate the doms....double tap their asses

Your english is a problem obviously....

The Chrome browser offers to convert from other languages and does it well. I think you'd be better off writing in your first language

I really don't understand the story. It's too poorly written to comprehend.

Need an editor ....

Interesting.....but it was like you are using an early version of Dragon software.

edit

You really need to get an editor. It takes away from the story when one has to decipher what is being written.

What?

Get a grasp of the English language if you plan to write in it? To call this giggerish would be mean and to strong, but this was impossible to read. And yes I wrote giggerish on purpose, cause like this story, it wasn't quite what was really being said.

It sounded potentially interesting

But it is a long way from being readable. Keep trying but get an editor to help you.

Do they

publish a "Grammar for Dummies" book?

Unreadable

Sorry, but this is unreadable. You need to work on elementary English.

DONT QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

guess everyone has the same idea...l couldnt even make myself finish your story...couldnt really follow it without having to stop and try to decipher each sentence...try english 101 before your next submission attempt...

Please No More*

This awful!!! I will thank you in advance for not writing another story without an editor.

YOU MAY RETURN

but you can never ever go back. TK U MLJ LV NV

UGH! Please don't write any more without an editor, the bit I did read was so painful I had to stop.

Poor english destroyed the story

The story has potential but lazy editing and poor syntax has created a piece which was rather painful to read. Rereading your own work would be a good starting point.

Grammar and spelling

You really should get someone to proofread your stuff before you post it...

hmmmm

Foundation for a good storyline.
But the sentence structure, misuse of words, and disjointed paragraphs made it very difficult to follow. The story was very broken up.

Would be great with some editing and a bit of rewrite.

Keep writing, each thing you do will get better if you use constructive comments from others.

More

Needs a 2 nd chapter

chances are

practice makes you perfect! keep writing its a good storyline