Thoughts at Moonrise

This is a rather interesting poem, but it isn't particularly "poetic" (Yes, I know that doesn't mean anything). And it has these odd lines:

As the sunset‘s last colors are fading
I am truly in love with two women
Overlarge and clear this cold evening

Do you mean both your women are "overlarge?" That seems cruel, or perhaps welcoming, as the case may be. I suspect you are not placing modifiers quite where you might want.

But I could be wrong about that.

I think one of the things I like about the poem is the multiple love objects. I have one love, but can imagine multiples. If you have managed to make that work, godspeed.

HIS MAIN PROBLEM ISNT COMPLETE

its indecision and avarice, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thoughts on Thoughts

Thank you all for your comments, I am frustrated - I had submitted this poem in word format so that I could maintain spacing that made it less confusing to read. To the left being a description of the moonrise, more to the right the thoughts going thru my mind. It didn't come out that way when published. Rats, and I certainly understand your comments Openfield. Taz - averiece? Maybe? Indecision? Nope - very decided on both.

ok, we'll go

with your explanation, it which case you have a near perfect ending, I assume the two trains intersect there. It needs some work, but I like the way you are thinking, mirroring the duality.
I 5ed, mainly 'cause the score means shit, if someone doesn't like you they anon it down.

Tazz did not comment on the poem, you may have noticed that here.