"Flattering" Best Friend's Mom

Critics

A dime a dozen. But do read what they have written. You'll learn IF you don't discard their words.

Credit is due you, for writing this story, be proud of it.

Thanks Don

keep on writtiing

there ;are endless possibilities with your story don't stop now!

I am editing the story. In the sequel (the reason why this story is short), there will be more character detail. Stay tuned

THREE STARS FOR THE IDEA, BUT YOU NEED AN EDITOR

As early as the second sentence of this work I understood that English is not your first language. The idea is very good. Burgeoning youth feeling the onset of sexual need. Current culture substituting natural attractions to age appropriate females with a euphemistic Holy Grail of MILF.

Get an editor though. Your sentence structure is horrendous.

Good beginning

Ben has a big cock that he uses to satisfy Tammy; how about a dusting of hair across the masculine chest? Give him a bit of hair, and while you're at it, how about details and descriptions of his body and her body?

Nice short story

Many guys are attracted to friends mom. a lot of women play along and tease guys knowing they will jo for them.

English was OK

I thought the writing was not perfect but not bad at all - and definitely better than 25% of US stories that create the impression that the author never went to school.

Never mind the idiots

Yes, your writing could use some editing, and no, you can't actually edit it yourself. That just doesn't work, for anybody.

But it's not that bad. For the particular moron who said "inevitable" was completely misused, just put "it" before "is inevitable". Voila, it works.

Relatable.

I usually prefer a longer novel bit all the same an amazing quick fix, truly. I found it very relatable, the masturbating to a friends overweight mother and wanting even more. Keep up the good work.

Good Start***

Thanks for sharing looking forward to Ch2.

Why do you remove unflattering comments?

If someone doesn't blow smoke up your ass, you get the comment taken down? What a whiny little pussy!

How many negative comments did you have to remove to end up with the handful of (relatively) positive ones you decided to keep? (Relative is the operative word, since even the ones you kept have critiques in them.)

Here's a thought for you: If the negative comments "don't count", then neither should the positive ones. And if the positive comments "count", then so should the negative.

Revisionist history never works. If you suck before someone tells you you suck, you'll also suck afterwards. Pretending you didn't hear the insult is simply DENIAL.

You make me laugh. Now, scrunch up that pudgy little face into a frown, and keep dreaming about what it might be like if you ever get laid without having to pay for it.

Thanks ***

For sharing.

EXCELLENT MILF FANTASY

CONGRATULATIONS. This story is an excellent fantasy -- but it could be outstanding with some small changes. FIRST: Show; don't tell. You tell us the young man left a load of semen in the MILF's panties. How did he do that, exactly? Also strive for consistency: 34C is a nice rack on a petite lady with a 22" waist and 36" hips/ass -- not so much on a plump forty year-old with tummy rolls. If she is a MILF, Tell us why? Give us a couple of mouth-watering -- dick hardening -- examples. It takes talent and perseverance to write and post a complete story. THANKS FOR SHARING. ER41