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English
Meh
Exactly the same as all the other thousands of Brother Sister stories -.-
Wow.
Comments FAR too harsh on this story. The idea is really sound, having the brother walk in on his siblings who are already doing it. But how about having it happen slower to really draw out what's hot about this sort of thing. Have him be jealous of his brother and start to see his little sister in a new light. I thought the sex writing was actually pretty good if not a little undeveloped (as in, it felt like you were writing this while horny and never properly rewrote it after from a flaccid perspective). This story needs work, sure, but the criticism is misleading. You're on the right path, just take a little more time. But the commenter before me is right. Don't delete criticism, even if it's reactionary pompous billshit. I'm more embarrassed for the critics than the author. At least the author was earnest.
Re: Deleting comments.
To Epiphany_Jones: This is MY story and I reserve the right to delete any comments from trolls who have nothing to say but "this story sucks." I really don't care about your opinion and I didn't force you to read it. If you don't like it MOVE ON! If you want to tell me what you didn't like about the story, go ahead. I am new at this and would appreciate ACTUAL CRITICISM. If not, DO NOT POST ON MY STORY.
Depth
You need to spend more time developing the characters. There is no depth.
You go from 'Drop everything and Run!' to 'suck my dick Bitch!' in far too few heartbeats.
my opinion
It is a sound story but could do with more detail as others had said. I think that you should make a second part to this because I personally really enjoyed it. Keep writing and use all criticism try to evolve how you write about these things and make them better.
Rewrite
I rewrote this story and renamed it. Everyone who commented on this story, please check out Homecumming here: www.literotica.com/s/homecumming-4. I really tried to improve on it and I would like to know what y'all think.
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