If it wasn't so confusing it would have been a 5 star story. I couldn't keep track of who was who, though. On the ride to the college, it seemed that Ben was in the back seat and the front seat at the same time.
by
Anonymous04/23/14
editing
nice astory, but a little proof reading would have helped.
THIS IS A GOOD STORY BUT IT NEEDS SO MUCH WORK! I GAVE *** ON THE BASIS OF CONTENT. I SUGGEST YOU PROOFREAD ALOUD AT LEAST A DAY AFTER YOU FINISH FIRST DRAFT. ALSO, I HAD TROUBLE TRACKING MOTHER/SON PAIRS. NOW THIS MIGHT JUST BE ME BUT I HAD TO GO BACK 3 TIMES TO CHECK.
Not great work. I think it would have helped to have started 'Truth or Dare' in one room, but then separated the moms with their friends son.The games could continue, but would be two on two.
Who is Cheryl?? Actually, this setting is just to unbelievable. No prior fucking/sucking with Matt, & Carey. Ben & Tammy are already fucking so thats ok.
by
Anonymous05/04/15
Chopped up crap
This story needed a lot of background, lots of time to develop and certainly time to have a decent sex scene. It is like you wrote this in 10 minutes and expected folks to like it. Go back and fill in the blanks, take some time to develop the relationships and make the story whole.
"..while Tammy's son, Ben, joined Carey in the front."
Need I say more? There's the basis of a possibly-good story here but you spent about 3 minutes writing this while simultaneously mopping the floor, or something.
by
Anonymous11/01/16
good story
Look, a kid who's at college for the first time misses his mother. And a loving mom misses her baby boy. They both sure as shit miss what the other one's got between their legs. Moms who truly care for their boy spread their thighs for him and welcome his fat young cock up the same warm wet hairy hole he came out of. Nothing says love like a boy's cock up his own mother's cunt.
English
If it wasn't so confusing it would have been a 5 star story. I couldn't keep track of who was who, though. On the ride to the college, it seemed that Ben was in the back seat and the front seat at the same time.
editing
nice astory, but a little proof reading would have helped.
NEEDS WORK
THIS IS A GOOD STORY BUT IT NEEDS SO MUCH WORK! I GAVE *** ON THE BASIS OF CONTENT. I SUGGEST YOU PROOFREAD ALOUD AT LEAST A DAY AFTER YOU FINISH FIRST DRAFT. ALSO, I HAD TROUBLE TRACKING MOTHER/SON PAIRS. NOW THIS MIGHT JUST BE ME BUT I HAD TO GO BACK 3 TIMES TO CHECK.
Good Read***
Thanks for sharing.
Good work !
Not great work. I think it would have helped to have started 'Truth or Dare' in one room, but then separated the moms with their friends son.The games could continue, but would be two on two.
Thanks Don
WHO??
Who is Cheryl?? Actually, this setting is just to unbelievable. No prior fucking/sucking with Matt, & Carey. Ben & Tammy are already fucking so thats ok.
Chopped up crap
This story needed a lot of background, lots of time to develop and certainly time to have a decent sex scene. It is like you wrote this in 10 minutes and expected folks to like it. Go back and fill in the blanks, take some time to develop the relationships and make the story whole.
"Tammy and Ben hopped in the back.."
"..while Tammy's son, Ben, joined Carey in the front."
Need I say more? There's the basis of a possibly-good story here but you spent about 3 minutes writing this while simultaneously mopping the floor, or something.
good story
Look, a kid who's at college for the first time misses his mother. And a loving mom misses her baby boy. They both sure as shit miss what the other one's got between their legs. Moms who truly care for their boy spread their thighs for him and welcome his fat young cock up the same warm wet hairy hole he came out of. Nothing says love like a boy's cock up his own mother's cunt.
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