As a story of teen stupidity, this is very good - as an enjoyable story, it stinks. I never thought I'd say that about something from CarlusMagnus, but I have to be honest, and I didn't enjoy this chapter at all. Gave it 3* for the writing quality, minus the disagreeable nature.
Good writing, but the characters are pretty unlike-able at the moment. Very much like typical teens. Seemed a bit short too...
by
Anonymous05/05/14
Very hot
Love the banter between these two, but Im sure it will eventually change as they build a relationship with each other. Loved how he came inside her... made me so wet ;). look forward to pt 3!
Disagreeable
As a story of teen stupidity, this is very good - as an enjoyable story, it stinks. I never thought I'd say that about something from CarlusMagnus, but I have to be honest, and I didn't enjoy this chapter at all. Gave it 3* for the writing quality, minus the disagreeable nature.
Pretty much what ChasB said.
Good writing, but the characters are pretty unlike-able at the moment. Very much like typical teens. Seemed a bit short too...
Very hot
Love the banter between these two, but Im sure it will eventually change as they build a relationship with each other. Loved how he came inside her... made me so wet ;). look forward to pt 3!
EXCITING STUFF AND EVEN BETTER THAN EXPECTED
That was well done!
Quick dramatic exchange and wicked hot sex. You have this story well palnned, and it is working.
yeah this isn't original at all
You changed some of the detales but I know this is lifted from the kathrine and anthony videos on xvideo
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