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OK start, but way too short
it ended just as it was getting interesting
Disappointing
Disjointed first page that called for at least another two of same length to make a first chapter that could gain a reader's interest in subsequent developments.
Bring on some more please! You have talent!
You have me hooked and I would really like to see some more of your writing and where this story is going, great start and 4 stars only because of the abrupt ending! Thanks! :) Smiling Jaybird :)
Disjointed, hard to follow, and it's 'won't' not 'wont'
Entirely too short...
A good beginning, but ending the chapter here is just teasing.
Good Start
Starting off well, now let's have more.
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