Roommates Ch. 01

Not long enough and it needs editing.

Great

Great lead in. Needs some editing

Nice job! Please continue

I'd like to see where this goes.

Definitely need a proofreader and editor.

I am willing to give this story-line a shot, but please get help with your word use -- or lack thereof. You used wrong words, and/or misspelled words, or had words missing.

Thank You!!!!!

Oh my! I never expected so much feedback in under 24 hours. Thank you all soooo much!!!

This the first short story I've written in a long time. So from all the grammar/editor/spelling comments, I guess it shows. But, thanks for seeing what is there despite all of the mistakes.

I have another chapter prepped and I plan to integrate all the notes you all have given me. I also really want to edit/re-do this chapter after all this feedback. I will be submitting edits soon (and judging by the time it take for submissions to be approved) I should have a better version of chapter 1 in a few days time.

Seriously thank you all!

--Aeli

Great Potential Here

Love this. Great beginning. Good character & story development. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

interesting

Wish it were a little longer but I liked it. Please keep going.