Afflicted

Intrigued

It was very short, but there was enough for me to see potential. The question is, do you really want to write? It takes time. A lot of it. You want to write well? Find a good editor.

I think you have raw talent, but do you want to put in the work?

A 4* nibble.

I like whats there so far hun, but make the bites a lil bigger from here on out plz?????

Good so far but you need to add a little extra to keep us hooked.

Not long enough to hook me, I think the first comment about you wanting to write was right.

So you wanted to get this tiny bit out before your trip? How long will it be before you post more, there is nothing that annoys me more on this site than when an author puts little bits out then nothing for months on end, so please, in future submit longer chapters.

An "A" for an effort...

Hey I can't talk (I need to finish my story). I still like what's to come. Although I do agree with the others, there should have been just a little more to get us hooked.

Looking forward to chapter 2.

not bad

I agree with the others hopefully u can continue and make me feel connected

Potential

It's there...update please

Keep writing

Keep writing, you are doing a good job..
Just read the story and picture yourself as the characters, then you will see, what we all see and read from your preseptive. So I will await the next chapter..
I gave u 5* ----so go ahead n do that next chapter..l