F4: Maiden's Wait

5 STARZ

More 5 than 4 but close to the line. I like the style of writing, but can we talk?

A bra that hooks in the front usually hooks between the breasts. What I mean is, is this your idea of an existential 911 alert?

Good job but wish it had been longer. Would have been interesting to see more of Frankie's thoughts and personality also, and how they meshed (or not) with May's.

Unusual and Satisfying

An artful piece with literary notions and an original plot and locomotion. The sex seems tertiary in this story, behind the character exploration, and, at the top, the aching sense of human desire that enfolds it. Not sexual desire, per say, but the desires all people have--to be free, to mean something, to know and be known.

There is something needy about this piece. It's lonely and starving, desperate for...something. It made me desperate for many things, as well.

The least among them was orgasm.

A very interesting take on the song, good luck on the challenge.

Great tone

There's a melancholy and appealing tone to the story which comes from it being recounted in flashback. Lovely account of a gentle older woman romance.
I think the bra thing was just a literary way of lingering on the breasts, like a finger tracing a line down there, LOL, rather than an attempt at practical instruction. The bra was a nice touch - conveying her hopefulness and her anxiety. Was it too much? but if it was too much, he would never know anyway, cuz he would never get down to it. (PS, she has BREASTS! later described as pillowy.)
Excellent background on the judicial system.

This one grew on me.

The co-dependency of the characters made me uncomfortable, which was probably the author's objective. I can't say that I enjoyed the story, but it tied well to the song, and it made me think and feel something.

I agree

It would have been nice to see more of Frankie's side, although that may have changed the entire feel of the story, too. Good luck in the challenge.