F4: Fissures in the Rock

Well-written if a little on the depressing side. It was a little odd at the end how you switched to the woman's POV.

Interesting story

Different and well written. Kudos for the unexpected double twist.

Interesting

Nice use of the song lyrics. It seemed to fade a bit at the end, but nicely written. The POV switch at the end was a little awkward. I like the gradual discovery of where their lives had led them. Interesting.

Short but sweet, good luck in the challenge :)

Like Naked Chekhov

Ignore the scores on this piece. No, actually, fuck the scores.

Beautiful and poignant and painfully modern, this story was like a snapshot through the window of fiction into the modern western home: a house full of pain, and confusion and an unstoppable need for connection and self-validation in a society that offers little of either. It captures admirably the games that we play, with the ones we love and with ourselves.

I thought it was great. Really. I wish there were more.

Excellent tie in to the song.

I liked this one a lot. The twist was well concealed until the end. I love a good twisted ending!

Well written but implausible

IF he's at all clever he understands her motivations and videos their fucking.(Because that's what they're doing - fucking. Not making love). He should be in this to bury her and her lover Christina. (That was a little too obvious). At that point he gets all the visitation he wants and moves on. leaving her with her lover. I'm thinking she's not going to be too happy about that. The other possibility is to just pick up and head for somewhere a long ways away and start over. Pretty easy for a good lawyer to do. He must see that she's screwing with him. Poor ending