Michael's First Time with My Wife

to fast even for a stroke story

and the boy would have cum before he even got inside her being a virgin and had dreamed of fucking her . This was a fair story, now if she brings him back and then cuck the husband and make him cry it would become great

i know the rules

your not allowed to tell the truth if you didn't like the story and if your not a sick fuck you'll be kicked of the site so start kicking because this author and this story make me puke.

Hey administrator you call this a story

They should replace you.

This is Laurel's personal story.

GOOD FIRST TRY

I'm not sure which story the others are commenting on but it sure isn't yours. Since this seems to be your first story and you could use some constructive criticism I'll try to help. Remember, this advice is worth exactly what it cost you.
#1 STAY WITH ONE POINT OF VIEW! Sometimes you told the story from 1st person POV. In that point of view you can only relate what you can see or have been told. You can't tell how it felt when Michael's cock slipped into wife's pussy. That's done using third person POV. If you tell how Michael and wife felt you must use third person God viewpoint, or you must relate them telling the narrator. YOU DON'T CHANGE VIEWPOINTS IN THE STORY.
#2 Chose your tense and stay with it. Beginners like us should stay with past tense, it's easier.
#3 Proofread, proofread, proofread. You want to have as few typos and other errors as possible.

You have talent, so don't get discouraged. In Loving Wives you will get a lot of comments not intended to help you; but I must admit I've never seen ANYTHING LIKE YOUR COMMENTS ,up to the time I write this. Hope to see your next work soon.

Carolina's got it right

Ignore the flamers - CarolinaDreamer's got it right - you could use an editor to correct that point of view as well as numerous other grammatical points that can be both smoothed and corrected to facilitate future readers. Nicely envisioned, keep it up.

Not bad

But needs editing including correcting wrong words. "Roll" playing should be "role" and I have a hard time imagining being "mercifully teased", just to point out a couple.

I enjoyed the story. And that's what it's all about.

VERY NICE STORY

Very nice story.Everyone had a great time,That is all that anyone can hope for.

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!

Excellent story!!!

Screw my wife

So hot. I'd love for Michael to take my wife into our bedroom and make her scream and orgasm with his big cock.

Can she...

...take that hard fat young cock up her ass?

Hoping to succeed.

Great story. I've been trying to get my wife to fuck someone else while I watch, but with no luck. She likes the idea in fantasy, but when it comes to reality, she is too afraid. This has made me want to redouble my efforts

It's true though that

they have a craving for fit young flesh. My Kat (45, sorry Wornock) drools at the gyrations of that generation - and when she has come back to her senses must be, and alwayss will be, put over witless's knee. Bad girls..

great

Loved the story hope its true

Excellent story

And it was done right too!

My only gripe is that Michael needed to release his load deep in the wife's snatch. The husband would then need to clean her out thoroughly. That is true love!!!

Want more stories from you!!

ease

Michael cant fuck a woman unless her husband is watching, the woman has to be married. Why is Michael like this , he is gay. The man doesnt want his wife sneaking around behind his back, but he could at least

Older woman/young man

I really like this story. My wife and I have similar fantasies of her being fucked by some young stud while I watch. She's in her '60's and our fantasy is a young stud (18 - 28) fucking her over and over and then he shoots his young seed deep into her mature womb till it runs down her thighs. This is soooo hot! Let's hear more of this story.

Great story

Another great story...

Missing Her name

Too bad the wife has no name for Michael to cry out as he pounds that wet cunt. "my wife", "my wife". Naw we ned to hear Mikey fucking Jenifer, or Even Mary would be better that,"my wife"!

The title says Micheals "FIRST time with my wife. Looking for more Mikey fucking your wife while you jackoff, or if your not there.

Well

Unknown to hubby, Michael will be invited back as frequently as secret opportunities become available.

Thanks for the story!

It's All in the Details

Good theme but too many details were left out.. For example. She was sucking him and her clothes came off and then he was on top of her. How did she get under him after sucking on him? Was there any seductive undressing? Gave you a three in the hopes your future stories get into the erotic details and more seduction rather than the sudden action which wasn't described very well.

Great Story...But...

Needs spell check. Reducing over use of a few cliche phrases would help, as well.

Great story tellers really shouldn't have to worry about spelling and grammar, but they should seek the services of a good editor.

Sorry to use this word--adorable.

Don't hate me--

I have a MFA in poetry--

so it's OK.

I've been an editor for the LSAT--

I LOVE grammar--

but spelling leaves me cold--

Not bad, needs some work and a sequel

This was a good first try, but the other posters are correct: it needs a little editing, the wife needs an actual name, and finally you need a sequel. In the sequel, Michael needs to shoot his load in her pussy; it'd be even better if this were unplanned, and the wife (whatever her name is) is not on birth control, so this turn of events is a big surprise for the husband who's expecting Michael to pull out in time. Or perhaps the wife is using a diaphragm but gets so turned on (and/or Michael's cock is too big for it) that she takes it out.

Lovely story but ....

I agree with Anonymous, Michael NEEDS to shoot his load deep inside the wife's tight married snatch & fill her womb with potent virile cum - hopefully making her pregnant - the wife needs to be named - Michael needs to fuck the wife when her husband is at work, many times !!!!

Thank you for a delicious story - five stars & a favourite.

Sarah Leather, London England. (Married fit tanned & toned blonde leather wearing mum in my early thirties)

leathercatsuitgirl@hotmail.co.uk

Nice but

Nice but it sounded like a porn movie. Should have had the young stud fill and breed your hot wife's pussy. Cuckold should have cleaned studs cock, balls, then ate the fresh thick creampie.

Great story, thanks.

It made my tiny penis so stiff, I hope my Mistress will let me rub it later.

1*

Trash.

wow..

Is Michael available for my wife?

Will he be surprised . . .

when he finds his wife has already found a replacement for Michael, and her husband? Smart move Mr. Hubby, real smart. You must have some real honey waiting for you in the background so you can now justify your own infidelity. Sick and annoying premise; just stupid people.

Memory from the past

This reminded me of an experience I had in high school with a man and his wife who lived down the street from us. It lasted for the summer and was so hot as was this story. I had also watched her off and on sunbathing for over a year before the man invited me over to do some yard work. It was a "virginal" summer for me that lasted until he got transferred and they moved the following spring.

Thanks for the memory. Your story brought me to the point of cumming and when I saw the picture of your wife it pushed me over the edge. I would love to fuck her for you.

good

good story, but ... why does the boy always have to have 8 inches?
it would be totally HOT and more realistic if the boy was only 5 or 6, which is probably what most boys are anyway.
the only other criticism i have is that the buildup should have been longer ... the wife teasing michael with her body, getting him hard in his jeans at the table, talking on the couch after dinner, michael so shy and embarrassed having a boner ... you get the idea.
final comment ... why do people who criticize other people's stories always get so anal about grammar and writing style??? some of them sound like they are book critics for the new york times. it's porn lit, people, enjoy it :-)))
overall, a good story.

Michael's First Time with My Wife

Loved this story. By the title, I imagine that there were or are going to be more times??? This is the first of your stories that I've read so I don't know if any of the others are a continuation of this story.

Keep writing....

I've watched many men

fuck my hot wife and they've all called her by her name (Betty) while they fuck her. I'm cuckold but I never touch any part of the men's bodies and I certainly never clean her up after they cum in her. However, I do enjoy sloppy seconds and better still is taking turns fucking her over and over again while she sucks the other's dick. 5*

WHAT?

You actually wrote this piece of shit????
There wasn't one paragraph that didn't have a ridiculous statement in it by you (since you are the author?) Destroy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!