All Comments on 'A Night in the Life of St. Lizzie'

for Luke,

what can I say? excellent interweave of clashes

As Lizzie baby-wipes both of his hands

and nothing goes where expected, no drop in the slot here

and this is a bit sick, something you might expect from me:

who told her last week he's Vincent Van Gogh

until Lizzie whispered love in his ear.

WTF - 5

I needed this

just bloody amazing.

this piece needs broader publication, gm - it's exceptional. it shows heart, goodness, kindness in the meanest places. title sums it up but doesn't dictate. so much going on in this it would require an essay to cover. right now, you have me reading again, soaking up all the allusions, the imagery. fine writing. thankyou.

It caused me to settle back and read unhurriedly, savoring the images and dialogue that follow. this is another that you have been working on for some time, and while mine are more like pieces of paper, wadded up and thrown at a trash can, this one is ironed flat and crisp, thanks gm

Very strong and in depth description of the life of a saint, an everyday saint so human that is the only one that can exist. And as always given with your personal style and the particular beauty of your verse. This is a complete poem, needing nothing else.

5ed and thanks for the read.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I've yet to see a bad poem from you! You definitely need to be read by a bigger audience and get paid for it! Can't nit pick anything here it's flawless and so good to find among some of the drivel I've waded through! 5ed

You are so descriptive and your empathy shows when you write like this, which is always. I have yet to read a bad poem by you. I wouldn't change a thing here, excellent work!

~ nj

Like all of them say - very good indeed.

It is a funny thing (that probably mostly reflects on me) but on this as on so many I intially thought - no this one I do not like , it does not really work. Then each time I read it I like it more - until I like it a great deal. That little musing is probably not interesting to anyone else - but it is to me.

Are like a fine wine to be savoured in sips and each morsel tasted, I have read this a number of times and your lizzie is just beautiful, your sense of sonic impression is integral but it is subtle, that it helps emphasise your narratives but is so often unobtrusive. Hialeah breaks you sonic pattern in the first line so perfectly,

Wakes, when,

beach, creeps,

Bistros, bars, boarded, box

Assonance alliteration and spaced in a way that accentuates the read, to the point where it almost represents lizzie soul, just perfect sounds. The whole piece is saturated in feel good sonics.

Dumpster and Esteban is clever.

I love these lines

He gives her a customer's disappointment

or some other leftover bistro mistake

Very original to my eyes.

Thanks for the read gm!

This reminds me a bit of Penny Lane (by Beatles) only it's not in England, but in Florida. I was born in Miami and lived almost half my life in Hialeah. Really liked this for its odd, curious detail, and I can relate to Lizzie in quite a few ways. Thanks for sharing. :)