- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Constructive criticism
Your major issue seems to be scattered attacks by the Autocorrect Gremlin. I suggest you type slower, pay attention to autocorrect prompts, and reject those prompts that don't make sense. Autocorrect is not always right.
Great story, though. Looking forward to finding out whether Tibby gets out from between "a rock and a hard place". ;-)
So glad to see Chapter 4
And unbelievably thrilled to see her getting away from Daniel.
At least that is what I want to believe is happening.
Wonderful and engaging tale you have written.
Good choice moving it to Sci-Fi
Woot!
This chapter was much better than the last few! Still some mistakes but you're into the readable range now so I'm done harping on ya.... for now. ;)
I still love where you're going with this story. Can't wait for the next chapter! (Would have written a more helpful review buuuuut I'm short on time. Promise to give a better one next time so keep up the writing. You're doing splendid.)
fabulous beginning
What a fabulous set up for a new story. Looking forward to seeing if Ryan is the all powerful brother to the first pleasure slave and if so, how his revenge might develop. I agree with the other posters- this chapter has been tremendously engaging and i wait with baited breath for what comes next. Xx
Better and better
You're getting better with every story. I'm not a huge fan of stories that focus around individuals that move from one abusive relationship to anther, and let's be honest, with what we know about Ryan a relationship would simply be a move from the frying pan into the fire. I'm interested in seeing how this plays out.
LOVE IT!
Can't get enough. I'm so glad I found this far enough along so that I get the chance to binge read it. Your writing has come so far in a very short time. A few of your earlier works were actually hard to read with too many spelling and grammar errors. While a few still remain this is a truly enjoyable read. Please continue with your entries. They are addicting.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Gilded in Gold Ch. 04 or
More submissions by silverangel621.