Seducing Jennifer Pt. 09

confused

Part of my problem is that youare not developing it enough. You start and then you stop just as it could get interesting/

My other issue is the title. You started off with Jenifer then to the mother and now he is role playing with Anna.

Please spend a little more time developing the story line and make it more sex or at least sensual. You seem all over the place.

This one was better.

Thanks

You hit it right on the nose. I didn't intend to go this way -- it took me there. The first three parts were all I intended to write, and unfortunately I typed them, first draft, right into the submission form. I just felt like reliving some old memories, frankly. And many people have a short attention span, so I kept them short, led off with the sex part, and finished with a hint that people might want to read the next part.

Then the story asserted its own dominance and I followed. I started writing elsewhere and pasting the parts in. Unfortunately it was too late to go back and revise the first parts. I think you'll find sections 11 - ?? more satisfying from a literary perspective. Jennifer will be back, and the title will yet prove to be descriptive. There are seven more sections waiting for approval, and I'm not nearly done yet.

Thanks for your input. Your comments are cogent and I fully agree with your suggestions.

Sorry for Not Scoring your Submissions...

Just finished 19-20 and looking forward toward the rest.
I feel guilty scoring anything that is outside my faith - anal, adultery, &c.
But I am enjoying your writing and would be disappointed should you stop...
Hence the sudden appearance of all the fives. ;-)

Thanks Anon

Thank you for your honest opinion. I do understand, and I am not out to change anyone's views. I am, however, interested in (besides unusual sexual behavior) depicting certain lifestyles from an aboriginal point of view. It's different. No one has to like or emulate it. And I'm not claiming that it is representative of any particular group of people, other than that which exists only in my fevered imaginations. And in my dreams...

Thanks again.

I actually like this turn of events I wasn't sure where you were going with this story, but I like where its leading now Good Work