Prisoner's Slave

It seems more like a poem than a story. Even though poems are a type of story. Square, Rectangle...

I really liked this. The layout of the paragraphs for the style of writing made it a little hard to wrap my head around initially and I wasn't sure about it, and there is the occasional typo.

However in continuing to read, overall I am impressed with the concept and the execution. It is just the formatting that bothers me most.

Yoda... Is that you master?

"The dark force, strong it is!... Yeah..." To write like Yoda speaks, ankward to read becomes. The story, good it is, but more enjoyable, when twisted the phrases are not.

There are different types of writing

I personally like "experimental" or stream of conscious writing when done well, as this is. I liked this story written just as it is, because it fit the genre, setting, setting and characters. This story, if it were written in the normal style and with standard grammar, would not be nearly as riveting.

(I'm thinking of that classic short SF story from the 1960s, "Born of Woman," as an example of this ( I hope that's the title).

Thanks!

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and comment, I greatly appreciate it!