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English
More! Please! I beg of you!
Please continue with the story!
Lovely start
Well written and this has the makings of a good story.
Please continue
Get a proof reader!
The story is starting off well, but mis-spellings detract. Easy to fix!
Great story. Happy to proofread for you. Spelling and grammar mistakes detracted from the otherwise good read.
decent plot...
The spelling and grammar errors are distracting. However, what makes it annoying is your habit of using signs or symbols in sexually oriented words. Please consider stopping that, it comes off a bit callow.
Editing
I volunteer as an editor. You can find me in the directory or contact me with a private message. I cannot respond to anonymous feedback.
Omg, please, please finish this!!
Nice start...
I think this was a good intro/first chapter. It looks like there could be a lot more here.
The one thing that I found a little off-putting was the use of characters and symbols in words like cunt and pussy. It's ok to write those words ;)
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