All Comments on 'A Chemical Moment'

fucked up ending.

This so belongs in Romance ... but haters gotta hate. And yes, romance doesn't always work out, for lots of reasons.

Well written. The ending, while sad, is perfect.

I agree with Pope32767. And the ending is just right - that they continued with their goals. I especially liked that the main character was a female who went on to pursue a STEM PhD.

A great story with a real life ending. I thought you were describing my college experiences ( I also got my PhD and am a lesbian. She went to med school). You told it with great insight and empathy. I' m anxiously awaiting your next story. ChristieP

This is one of the most literary stories I have read on on Literotica. It seriously could have stood on it's own, even without the sex. Nice going.

I especially appreciated how they "got together" - slept together - and only slept, for a long time before getting to sex. So many stories people are "hey I dig you" and before anything else clothes are flying off and happily ever after. A realistic story wins me every time.

I really enjoyed the build-up to their relationship, and the fact that it wasn't the most important thing to them. I love romantic stories (and movies) and am always depressed at a less-than-happy ending. So, as much as it disappointed me, the ending was right!

A wonderful and beautiful story.

Probably the best story ever posted..Realistic and very well written.

i vote you 5 stars. 5 stars of love.please write more about them.by from italy

I gave it five stars because it was so well written and a seriously sweet story, but I didn't love the ending... Not because they didn't stay together, but because it just seemed a little rushed and flat. Did they not keep in touch? I understand the limits of first person POV, but I feel like there was no closure with Annie. There was the vague reference to the unlikelihood of Allison remaining a lesbian, which was sad and clichéd.. But there was no real reference to Annie's future.

i think i should clarify my earlier statement. i am disappointed in the nice romantic story that is then turned into a lesbian until graduation (lug) story.to me it almost seems to demean the love side of the story or relationship.

If you're interested in Anne's story after college, read The Broken Mirror. The Anne in that story is the Anne Griffin from this story. It's clear to everyone in both stories, except Anne herself, that Anne is not a Lesbian Until Graduation. It's just something she tells herself to avoid reality.

If you're interested in Allison's story after college, read Desert Chemistry. It's not written yet, but it will be up in a few months. I promise. Breaking up with Anne doesn't change Allison's identity - she's as sure of herself as a lesbian seven years later in Desert Chemistry as she is in A Chemical Moment.

Loved it :D After reading a lot of submission stuff from another author on here it's nice to sit back and enjoy a realistic vanilla relationship. I'm also glad to hear both of their stories are continued though I do wish I could see more of them together but I suppose sometimes romance doesn't end with a break up than getting back together years later. Anyway keep up the good work~ Sei

I have read The Broken Mirror, but hadn't connected Anne to it - so will re-read it with this new perspective. I am very much looking forward to reading Desert Chemistry :)

Thoroughly enjoyed this well written story. You managed to provide just enough to tittilate without being too overly explicit. Best of all was that your story was about more than sex.

Reads as a true story, well told.

Beautifully written. Characters have more than two dimensions, interactions are believable, ending is delightfully bittersweet. Not too long, not too short - a very satisfying read. I loved the chemistry insights and the rational/realistic worldview. This is a piece of art.

Well written. Thank you for sharing what might possibly the true lives of two people out there missing one another. The ending might have a sad note to it, but in the minds of the reader, it might not be the true ending.

Thank you again for the wonderful story

As a pubescent teenager in the style of brother person, I approve!

It was an incredible story Very realistic and sensual. I could feel the connection between Allyson and Anne and it was incredible. The beauty was definitely how everything was eased into. It was incredibly written too. Loved the romanticness of it. Rather incredible!! Loved it!!

Best wishes

Thank you for the follow-up...I liked the story. Not all stories are happily ever after for ever couple. However, Anne does find her happiness in Broken Mirror, as I am sure Allison will also.

That was a lovely story. Very well written as though it happened to you

I bet there would be a lot less sex if everybody stopped to wok out the biochemistry of it [page 2]. Seriously, this is a lovely tale. So much better the slow build-up and characterisation than the all-too-frequent "Right, those are the characters names, let's get fucking!" I've read and very much enjoyed this one and Evergreen Kiss, now I'm eagerly anticipating Broken Mirror. You're worth every one of the five stars, Salish.

A very human tale, fraught with the insecurities and weaknesses that we all live with. Altogether a very tender, moving, and, ultimately, tantalizing story.

It felt so... real. Very well written. I loved it so much. I didn't think I would find a story with Chemistry AND lesbians.

This is a first!

The first time I can classify a story as brilliant!.

Why?

Simple! The sex in your story is far less important than the emotions; it is not what are frequently "wanking stories"! Sorry I sometimes forget, you are an American, a "jerking off story".

A brilliant piece of work that I, personally, would mark as an A or A+!

An amazing story. Poignant. Thank you for sharing your gift of writing with us mere mortals. ;)

Now I'm about to ask, is there going to be a second part of this story... Please tell us that your working on it.

It's so amazing and I reminisced my past about my roommate too, sadly we broke up hating each other.

Beautiful and heartbreaking. I've never left a comment on this site before, but I've never read a story on this site that is so moving.

The one romance that leaves an unforgetabble longing. Always wondering What Ifs. Thanks for the story. It is beautiful.

Truly excellent. A wonderfully written piece. Not only are you a gifted writer... thank you for the gentle, hopeful ending... I was expecting a tearful ending. Bravo!

Can't help but think this is the Anne from "A Broken Mirror". Love how all of your stories are connected. You leave a lot to the imagination with what could happen between all of the characters involved. Would love to see Meaghan, Sarah, Christine, Anne, and Alison meet somehow. Happy but bittersweet at the end. Well done!

I have read only one other story like this one, except it wasn't erotic, purely romantic. This is a romance with flames to it, and in my opinion the world needs more of that. You have a gift and I wouldn't stop if I were you. This should be published, seriously.

Did they have to break up?

So sad.

so sad.. it makes me cry :-(

Aw

The characters were so well-developed and the detail was amazing, I loved this story, great job

Sad about the ending.

Great story. I love that you didn't rush it :) I even felt a little emotional towards the end!

I've just discovered this one. It's every bit enjoyable as your Seattle stories so now I'm looking forward to reading the sequels.

Perfect,,,,!

This is easily the best story I've ever read on any of the 3 sites I frequent. Your characters had depth and really came to life for me. The story itself was genuine and a joy to read. If you ever write a book, I will line up to buy it.

...of romance and sensuality, with the beautiful handling of conflicting emotions along the way. Loved it!

Veronicaxxxxx

I loved it, but as a sucker for happy endings?

The author stopped writing, but that abrupt cessation was as unrealistic as a too-sweet happy ending. These women blossomed together, and came to love one another. How could they then part from each other?! Their characters were not prepared by the author -- no matter what happened to them individually in future Lit episodes -- to go their separate ways. They deserve to have had a future together, two intelligent humans working out the vicissitudes of life as a couple, parents and professionals, playing their part in America's future.

I don't know what to say...sad.

I wish there'd be a future for them.

Amazing story. I like the realistic ending that leaves it as something that really happened and how love can come from anywhere. So amazing I loved every single second of it. I look forward to reading your other works. Thank you so much for sharing

It’s usually not in me to criticize a writer’s characterizations. The heart of any good story are the characterizations that define the bounds of the story and changing characterizations would necessarily produce a different story. This story does not need that. So, I won’t go down that path here.

To me, all of the issues with this story have to do with the epilogue. And I have to ask myself, especially in the case of Allison, what could possibly turn her back toward men after such a positive experience with Anne when her previous experience with men had been so bland? Nothing I saw in her character feels like it would revert to that inferior path for her life (e.g., money, children, politics, religion, none of the typical life rudders that characters get steered sideways by). But, even more importantly, why would there be a need to point any of that out at the end of a beautiful story like this other than drag out a final tear for what was, up until that point, a thoroughly uplifting story. Those few lines make the story bittersweet — for no purpose.

Turning them both heterosexual in the aftermath of this story is what I call “pushing the big red reset button”, which in storytelling is about the worst thing you can do because it “breaks” the story in a way that makes the read pul back and study the story and story mechanics instead of just experiencing it. It’s kind of like time-traveling into the past a preventing them from meeting in the first place.

Why go out of your way to take the happiness away from the readers? In my opinion, the story should have just ended right before the words, “Graduation Night”.

A great story. Very well written, except for the epilog.

Why drop a bomb like that which absolutely turns the whole story on its head, right at the end of the story. No repercussions. No aftermath. Just nothing.

Just nothing is sadly what I will remember from this story.

As Alfred Hitchcock said

If there is a bomb, then you must show it. If you show a bomb then you must explode it.

Yes. Very bad call WRT finding a man. kills any future story about Allison, which I see coming and will not bother to read; I don't do pointless.

Nonetheless, I gave this a five because of our shared Uni nostalgia.

Upon second reading, I found myself uninterested in any of the story. Even though I'd only read it two months ago, I'd read dozens of stories in the interim and didn't remember the exact details of the end.

But it quickly came back to me that it was all pointless, by the end forcing me to reevaluate my rating, especially in consideration of the other stories I've been reading, and lowered it.

All in all, the second reading didn't feel like a love story at all. It was more an unemotional play by play of a pointless period spent wasting time in college.

You have a lovely way of writing!

Thank you for this story!

My high school class valedictorian came out at Oberlin, but she ended up largely back in the closet... the doctrinaire lesbians there REALLY didn't like bisexual women. She ended up writing a Ph.D. dissertation on the subject. Each story I have read on Lit that revealed a woman who had been with women was bi was followed by negative commentary about feeling betrayed. There is no doubt whatsoever that they expected a warning flag saying "bisexuality ahead" so (It would seem) that the reader could abandon the story... AND the author.... immediately. I am still working on my own issues, but I think I may be bi as well (but male... I'm sure about that part ;).

It's good tho I hoped for a happy ending for the 2 of them. Will there be a story about Allison?

A very well written and engaging story with very interesting characters.

The ending was a bit sad, but it was quite clear that Anne wasn’t ready — which was also apparent in The Broken Mirror; she was very interested in Christine, but still wasn’t quite there yet at first, though got there in the end.

Had they continued studying and working in the same city she might have gotten there with time, but with graduation as an implicit expiration date she could give herself a way to put off dealing with reality until it no longer mattered, which was sad.

Looking forward to reading the continuation of Allison’s story.

P.S.

I love a beautiful love story! Really great writing and beautiful characters. Can’t wait to continue and read all of your other stories.

baby