MEN

She feels the clammy cotton of her panties against her bottom and wonders if she should remove them.

decisions, Decisions...

Loved It!

Joanie Salinger. Age eighteen. Occupation: straight-A student with a plaid skirt, and a broken heart. She helps an old boyfriend get over an old hurt even as she finds her own relief. Because, you see, fate can work that way in ... the men's room!

The man was fifteen, easily 20 years her senior.

Fifteen
20 years older than this girl.

Sorry, I just had to stop reading it there. I know it's just an error, but still. It puts me off.

?

I don't understand your point. Do you mean the idiom "x years his senior" doesn't work for you? Or is it some rule of grammar I'm missing?

Grammar and stuff

"The man was fifteen, 20 years her senior." Looks like you're saying he is fifteen years old. It seems obvious, to me, that you meant 15 to 20 years her senior. I really liked the story anyway.

haha

OMG. Now I feel really stupid. :) Of course! Thank you so much for pointing that out to me. You're exactly right about my intentions. I guess this is the reason to get an editor. I must have read that a bazillion times, but didn't see it until now.

I am glad you liked the story, vindalowd. If you're interested, I've done a re-write of this story as horror for this month's Halloween contest. It's called Men's Room and it just went live this week.

I really like your writing

"Joanie groans. She forgets the sister. She forgets kindness.

It feels good to have a dick inside her"

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD BIT DUDE

Thank you!

Heck yeah, thanks for taking the time to post. I keep writing new stories, and it's encouraging to see the old ones getting read. I should have something new in the next few weeks.