I have to echo the first comment: What happened to Charlie & Rachel?
In all honesty, other than the vague references to the father, this doesn't really feel like a follow-on to the first chapter, but rather some kind of disjointed story that starts half way through and doesn't really seem to know where it is going. Which is a pity, because the first chapter would have served as a fairly solid start for a decent story.
My suggestion would be to redraft this and have someone look over it (friend/editor on here) and take suggestions from them on how to make these two seemingly disparate chapters flow into a single story. :)
English
what happened to charlie and rachel?
I have to echo the first comment: What happened to Charlie & Rachel?
In all honesty, other than the vague references to the father, this doesn't really feel like a follow-on to the first chapter, but rather some kind of disjointed story that starts half way through and doesn't really seem to know where it is going. Which is a pity, because the first chapter would have served as a fairly solid start for a decent story.
My suggestion would be to redraft this and have someone look over it (friend/editor on here) and take suggestions from them on how to make these two seemingly disparate chapters flow into a single story. :)
Insanity.
Are you fucking high when you're writing this shit??????????????????????????????
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