Definitely hot and hardhitting, this story certainly leaves an impression!
I once wrote a lesbian pickup scene in a public bathroom, and while I think it worked well enough, it's probably the single sex scene I've written where I'm least sure, as an author, that I made the scenario plausible enough.
So this story speaks to me at a technical level too. Reading it, part of my brain was struggling over the motivation. Is it happening too fast? too implausible? Yes, the rapid anal defloration too. And yeah, I noticed the word "slime". Part of me raised an eyebrow.
But the thing is, all these choices, however outside the norm they might be, just clicked with such excitement and energy. The writing is confident, cheeky, seductive. The way the narrator doesn't physically describe herself until it's "her turn". The final line is a mesmerizing twist. There's both sweetness and aggression here. This is definitely a work of talent, something bold and original and almost frightfully transgressive. There are hot stories I soon forget about, but this is one that burns into the memory.
by
Anonymous07/28/14
slime
The word "slime" is such a turn off.... What a shame, ruined it for me.
by
Anonymous07/29/14
Shlyme
To chime in on the slime debate: I'm sorry if anyone is offended by my use of words, even though it feels strange to say that on a porn site. I like to be descriptive and use the words that exactly express what I have seen/felt/experienced. If a woman had a particularly thick and sticky vaginal secretion, I have no problem referring to that as "slime", especially if it tasted so fucking good.
On the contrary, I'm adverse to sugarcoating and prettifying things that, in my mind, don't need any "nice" language to be exciting and arousing. I love women, I love women's bodies, I love pussy, and everything that comes out of it. There is nothing disgusting about any of that. Trying to use "pretty words" for normal, exciting and fucking tasty bodily functions is something I'm opposed to, as it leads to the ever-repeating same vocabulary I see in the majority of stories.
That being said, I've got good news for anyone who finds this story a turn-off: There's plenty of stories on this site you can read that will meet your tastes better than mine, so I encourage you to read them! If you stick to mine (pun, haha!) you should know that I write about things unfiltered and unrestrained. That's not going to change.
- The author (who, for reasons unknown, can't log in to comment under her own name because the login just won't stick, but can upon personal request affirm that she indeed wrote this comment).
English
"slime?"
I think "juice" is a beter term.
slime!
@Larry: I don't know about your pussy, but mine leaves a thick trail of slime.
Juice v. Slime
This isn't a biology journal. It doesn't matter which term is more real. This is an erotic writing site. What matters is if a word is sexy.
Slime, especially as used in this story, is not a sexy word (at least not to me).
Unquestionably powerful, provocative
Definitely hot and hardhitting, this story certainly leaves an impression!
I once wrote a lesbian pickup scene in a public bathroom, and while I think it worked well enough, it's probably the single sex scene I've written where I'm least sure, as an author, that I made the scenario plausible enough.
So this story speaks to me at a technical level too. Reading it, part of my brain was struggling over the motivation. Is it happening too fast? too implausible? Yes, the rapid anal defloration too. And yeah, I noticed the word "slime". Part of me raised an eyebrow.
But the thing is, all these choices, however outside the norm they might be, just clicked with such excitement and energy. The writing is confident, cheeky, seductive. The way the narrator doesn't physically describe herself until it's "her turn". The final line is a mesmerizing twist. There's both sweetness and aggression here. This is definitely a work of talent, something bold and original and almost frightfully transgressive. There are hot stories I soon forget about, but this is one that burns into the memory.
slime
The word "slime" is such a turn off.... What a shame, ruined it for me.
Shlyme
To chime in on the slime debate: I'm sorry if anyone is offended by my use of words, even though it feels strange to say that on a porn site. I like to be descriptive and use the words that exactly express what I have seen/felt/experienced. If a woman had a particularly thick and sticky vaginal secretion, I have no problem referring to that as "slime", especially if it tasted so fucking good.
On the contrary, I'm adverse to sugarcoating and prettifying things that, in my mind, don't need any "nice" language to be exciting and arousing. I love women, I love women's bodies, I love pussy, and everything that comes out of it. There is nothing disgusting about any of that. Trying to use "pretty words" for normal, exciting and fucking tasty bodily functions is something I'm opposed to, as it leads to the ever-repeating same vocabulary I see in the majority of stories.
That being said, I've got good news for anyone who finds this story a turn-off: There's plenty of stories on this site you can read that will meet your tastes better than mine, so I encourage you to read them! If you stick to mine (pun, haha!) you should know that I write about things unfiltered and unrestrained. That's not going to change.
- The author (who, for reasons unknown, can't log in to comment under her own name because the login just won't stick, but can upon personal request affirm that she indeed wrote this comment).
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