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nice lesson, not too hurtfull
Fun stuff, this mind control.
Let us all not be snobs, it could be embarassing.
I will read all of these mind control stories by Andy5v.
Oh dear.
I'm afraid this is one Mind Control that was CLEARLY written by a teen male. Sorry, dude. Also, work on your POV timelines--you swap between past and present very disconcertingly.
that was cool
i liked the storie.write another.
Nice idea but...
You need to work on your lines...the story needs to build up more and get rid of crappy line like "Yes Way"
Better than OK!
I read your bio where you said you welcome comments, me too. A good short story. Not too literary which is a good point isn't it? Especially in this case. I don't say 'way' myself but your character does and that seems to be in 'character'. I'm going to read the rest of your stories now so - thanks for the read, good one!
Nice story
Would have been perfect if he would have fucked her though. But still a real hot read
enjoyed it
Nice story. Basic, fast and raw.
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