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Nice but...
I think authors should try their best to name their characters in a way that neither the reader nor the author confuses them. Claire and Cat! Nice names but early on the names were mixed up and I think Cat was making the drinks that Claire had gone to make. But the names and the mix ups do not stops from being an interesting read.
A little more attention to detail
There were a couple of glaring errors in the spelling and grammar. If you solicit the help of others in editing, they should have picked up on them. Otherwise a short sharp and concise account. If you continue the tale, slow it down a bit and write as if you were in that picture.
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