All Comments on 'Grief'

... Just Wow.

Just an amazingly touching story.

What an excellent story. A completely different ending to the one expected from the start of the story. A "well done" just seems too little praise.

Wow isn't sufficient to describe this! This is the best story you've written so far, and that's saying a lot since I didn't think it was possible for you to top your previous superb stories. I won't forget this masterpiece and the effect it's had on me for a long time.

I may be a major wuss, but that brought actual tears.

Fantastic writing.

its flux either bonds closer together or ejects the non-ferrous elements, TK U MLJ LV NV

So much above the usual stuf...

thank for the powerfull emotion...

this could have just as easily fit into romance because that is what won out in the end.

I agree with the question, why didn't they go north for a white Christmas?

there were many emotional tugs throughout the course of the journey.

well written.

thank you.

Why the hell did you need to go and make me cry

You have a real talent. My god how I cried. This shows how in our human lifetime two strong moral people can come back together and find themselves. I applaud your efforts. A 5 for me.

Thank you, oshaw, for this very emotional piece.

What can I say that wasn't already said in this magnificent tale. Yeah I shed a few tears also. What's really scary is that you get better every tale. Your emotional grasp is incredible.

Excellent

Five Hundred Stars

Dam you... Making this man cry

Five stars.

There is no greater pain than watching a child die. In the grip of that pain people people can become twisted and loose their ability to see what is important in their lives. For those around them, those that are drawn to help these people in their pain, they often develop a very direct and intimate relationship with the person in pain. Frequently, this will develop into an inappropriate and parasitic relationship. That is why when people are suffering such great pain the solution is to see a professional therapist and maintain the primary intimate relationship. Too often the caregivers needs are completely overlooked by the medical community. It is a shame, because the caregivers are part of the treatment for the patient and their well being is very important. Modern medicine needs to take a broader view on treatment.

Outstanding!

Wow, just wow...

Made me all verklempt and stuff.

I LOVE when that happens!

In stead of stars, I am giving you 5 tears. Actually, many more than just 5. Replace Rachael with Jan, my late wife. Replace Marilyn with my daughter, Megan. Replace Karla and Paul with my grandson, Bray and Brax. Thank you for telling my story. Fiction is not always stranger than the truth.

a 10 * story....everyone shoul read it...Thank you for writing it....

Perfect.

Thank you.

I agree with the other reviewers, WOW, WOW. Very powerful, tear jerking story well told & written. A very tricky subject dealing with the pain of parents looking after a young child slowly slipping away from them & the emotional stress it causes.

I once had the misfortune to have a young nephew admitted to hospital for 10 days & because of lack of beds in the children's general ward he was placed in the kids cancer ward. Now those children, some of whom had spent up to 70% of their young lives in hospital, were just such positive, caring & loving youngsters whilst the staff, well words fail me, they were brilliant. Looking back now I'm sure that every family member who visited him, left the ward with tears in their eyes. This story has done the same to me now, just bloody brilliant.

5***** but it should be 10

thank you for showing how a serious illness can cause huge fractures in a loving relationships. I can think of nothing worse than watching your child slowly die. you put everything into their well being and in the end it is NOT enough. you and your mate suffer this TOGETHER. If the stress has caused fractures in your marriage that have gotten to big for LOVE to fix , then another failure ensues. Thanks for not having the failure of divorce add to the grief of your story. Thanks for a well constructed story. YOU are a truly amazing author. THANKS

Thanks for sharing.

thanks for the story, and thanks for putting substance in the lw category. the best stories on this site can grab people's emotions and help them relate. commenters are right, your writing has improved. keep up the good work, and stories like yours is the reason why i read anything on this site.

Thank you.

An amazingly touching story. Inspired and inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Real emotion. Real pain. Two decent but flawed humans doing their best and not knowing what to do. Nobody chose anything here but had it thrust on them, and all things considered, they did okay. This was very real and very good. thanks for sharing it with us.

!

You made me cry you bastard! 5 stars, perfect story and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Beautiful. 5 stars

They can't be written any better than this. I'm sure every paragraph brought out feelings of some sort. Happiness, sadness, their thoughts all combining to make the story a heart felt experience in a heart breaking event. As I say it was just a great story. A 5 isn't enough.

What a warm heartbreaking story. There were times I wanted to stop reading it was so hard....but I could not. The love of a child....even a dying child.....can mean so much to anyone paying attention. Well Done

Glad they reconnected. Loosing a child must be heart breaking! Thanks for a god read on this Saturday AM, made me cry!

i wish that my wife and i could have had the same ending after our boys died...thank you for the wonderful story

I was so expecting a divorce, had a feeling when the bookmark was mentioned that it would be something like that.

I do have one problem with Marilyn's actions - they both share blame for the drifting apart, etc., but how in the world could she NOT call her husband to be there for the tv interview?

BTW, Anonymous (funny how most of the most critical comments are anonymous!), why is SHE a "cheating cunt", but you say nothing about him?

... and, wow, what an ending it was. Even though I thought it a bit farfetched that Ray and Marilyn could rekindle a loving relationship after so long without conjugal interactions, the ending to this story was so phenomenal that I was able to completely suspend disbelief. It might not have brought your story up to five star status but it certainly was the most emotional and thought provoking ending to any story that I've read in a long, long time.

Very very powerful story telling. Well done sir.

Oshaw, as i get ready at 7 a.m. for another long day of my MANLY job as an electrical lineman, i have to do something in which i believe i haven't done in probably 12 years. Wipe these damn cursed tears from my face. Thanks for that ending jerk! Excellent story sir/ma'am.

sorry in too much of a hurry too check your profile for gender, my apologies.

I couldn't have handled this at work. Sniffle, sniffle, outstanding submission!

It brings tears, happiness. Tough we may be separated, we'll meet again on the other side of the shore. God be with you till we meet again.

I liked the story for what it was, and thought it held together better than other reconciliation stories.

My problem with your writing is the infuriating refusal to proof your work. Someone is not 'renown', he is 'renowned'. Just lots of little irritating crap like that.

Please, PLEASE, pay more attention.

What a great read on a beautiful Saturday morning. I had to hug my wife, kids and grandkids. It was great having them all here together. You tell a wonderful story. Looking forward to your next attempt.

Well done story. Unfortunately it did bring back soon bad and good memories.

Who cares for the caregivers? Those living who are left behind to endure the loss. The price they pay in grief drains them daily.

And no parent should have to bury their child but we know that is a part of life.

Very well written - very compelling.

Not that it wasn't extremely well written - it was excellent. You can definitely write. This was another example of very good writing that follows the other well written stories you've posted. But I will simply make this point. Given the nature of this site, I didn't/don't expect to find this type of heart wrenching story posted herein. And the cancer issue strikes way too close to home for me to enjoy reading this. Please continue to write and post your stories, but post the tragedies somewhere else. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go get a piece of Kleenex.

I know this pain. I wish I would have had this happy ending

Thank you for the tale.

This is one of the most heart touching and well written stories I've ever read! You could feel the pain and grief on every line. Thank You for sharing this with us.

One commenter said you get better and better with each story. I wholeheartedly agree!!! This one story was able to touch my heart and soul. For a writer to do that, you did very very very good!!! This is the third story on this site that has done that. Well done. 5 stars and thank you.

Then I went and hugged my wife and baby girl after reading this.

5 Solemn Stars. Thank you.

You are a superb writer. Congradulations.

The scene where they find the little girl's picture is one of the most moving scenes I have ever read any where any time. Tears ran down my face damn it. How sad that his couple drifted so far apart. Well done.

What a fantastic story! As has already been mentioned, the author is just getting better and better and better................!

Thank you for sharing your talent!

I always enjoy your writing and this story, as has several, led me on an emotional rollercoaster. By the way I have been reading stories from this site for many years and have a few favorite authors but... this is the first time I have ever commented.

A great story of true love

Thank you

Schmaltzy, formulaic, cliched, over written, and not up to your previous works. Too many scenes seemed to last forever or weren't even needed. I never was able to connect to the child emotionally, so the whole agonizing over cancer, treatment and death of a child didn't work. If you were trying to make the husband and wife seem equally to blame (two unfulfilled year-long emotional affairs) you failed. The results of the actions of each made her a complete waste of oxygen. The tacked on 'erotic' scene felt out of place, and over the top considering the situation. Other than that, not bad, but I didn't feel it was as good as your others.

All I can give you is a 5. Seems a small return for such a beautiful story. Thank you. Jim

Thank you

You have described the emotions and tensions in caring for a dying child better than I could imagine. A stressed marriage could so easily have failed but you found a beautiful way to keep them together. 5*

It is hard to relate to grief if you have not experienced it. Well written. Thankyou!

after reading this i got tears

Perhaps you have not experienced this type of extended slow strangulation of a relationship by factors out of your control. If so, you are blessed/lucky/waiting for your turn. The illness and then loss of the child are catalysts, but they are not the story. Not bonding with the child's character is not critical for you. You need only acknowledge the bonds within the family.

Those scenes you felt too long or unnecessary are just what happen and what makes this realistic. When they really happen, they are indeed too long and usually unnecessary and they WILL HAPPEN ANYWAY. And then the aftermath must be survived.

Those who have not yet dealt with prolonged illness do not yet understand that the grieving starts with the diagnosis, not the death.

Brings up memories that only time can heal.

Whilst I've never lost a child or had a relative die at an early age to cancer, nor have I lost a young relative to any ailment, the death of a child (even a young adult) can have serious consequences and repercussions within both a relationship and the people within that relationship. It's particularly hard when someone commits suicide.

I had an 18 year old cousin commit suicide, and his father (my Uncle) had a nervous breakdown. Almost 10 years later, we discovered that they both began to have affairs with other people, he with men..... The death had many unforeseen consequences for both parties within my Uncle's relationship, and it really set the rot in. Whilst this story is fine, it paints a different picture than the one I've described here. It's not an impossibility, but it seems that the characters in this story really should have been shaken by the shoulders, and told to communicate with each other.

We lost our young son at just shy of 4.5 years of age, but he was not a victim of cancer but of progressive heart failure. In the end he was taken from us suddenly, but at the same time, the handwriting was on the walls for most of his 4.5 years on this earth with us.

My wife and I were spared much of the relationship drama of this story, mostly because we had both our families and also our church family to turn to for advice and support in addition to one another. I also had an employer who was an absolute miracle for us through raw times away at hospitals and plenty of missed work too. Barring those things, and in more trying life circumstances, I saw anew in this story how things could have gone much worse for our family and our marriage relationship. There was no hyperbole here, and as for the turnabout ending, well, that too can happen, but far too often doesn't.

Even well-intentioned but flawed people make mistakes, and they can compound into BIG mistakes far more easily than not sometimes. So the storyline here was nearly dead on perfect, as the vast majority of commentors here have attested.

Well done, and a paltry 5 * here when more were deserved for this marvelous effort.

Thank You.

This was an incredible tale. Fully explored the grief of losing a child to cancer. I was in tears as I reached the end. My complements to an excellent author.

I found this story to be really deep. It had me captured from beginning to end. One thing this story told that most don't, is that couples should talk their way through their ordeals. Communication is the answer. Five stars - ten if I could give them.

Not every wife has to be a slut and not every husband has to be a wussy. Their marriage was tested and it held.

I was moved. You are just an incredible writer. Please give us more

Best damn story that I have read on here.

that I read a few negative comments to this story. OH MY GOD, I think I know who wrote those comments... the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge.

From an unforgiving, jaded, damaged, stupid old fart, you have my deepest gratitude. My heart aches for your characters, and the injustice that robbed this (fictional!) girl of a life with her parents and siblings, and also because the siblings (again, fictional, but who cares) did not get a chance to share their sister's life. You made them real.

The fact that it hurts so much is because this happens to real people too. My mother died of cancer, but at a very old age. We were all prepared, she had time aplenty with all (7) of us. She lived a full life, and yet when she left it still ripped out all of our hearts.

The failures in my own relationships come down to the selfishness and stupidity that all people are capable of, including me. In your story, it WOULD have ended badly, as even good people fail, if Rachel had not SAVED them. She WAS an angel.

If you don't think this story belongs in Loving Wives, you are probably right! But I don't care. The fact that it was here, meant that I got a chance to read it, and it is old assholes like me who need stories like this the most.

Thank you. 5 stars, of course.

And if you don't agree with myself and the 99% of other readers of this story you can just FUCK OFF!!!

reminds us that it is not how long we live on this earth, but rather what we do with that time that counts.

A well written story. I know where you're coming from having lost two children. Surely brought a lump to my throat. God Bless. Cheers!

Your story has made this 60 year old man weep. Thank you for allowing Ray and Marilyn to find each other again.

This is a great story, and I thank you for the time you put into writing it. This is an easy five stars!

Enough said. Great read.

Damn you. I went through a box of Kleenex.

What a good read, outstanding, not your normal cuk swapping perevsion stuff. Now if only When We Were Married ended like this, I would be happy.

Story of the Year, hands down!

I am sure this is a great story, but all I really want to do is close my account and delete all of my information from this sight.

drive a woman with great tits like Toymargaret out of Lit. That would remove at last 5 points from his score on this story!

This was the best story I have read in this category hun! My husband tole me about it earlier and he was right! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ^^

I am SO sick of hearing about men's "pride" & "egos" !!

It was a very good story, but that destroyed it for me.

It TRIVIALIZES men to simple (and stupid) one dimensional characters. And like women don't have pride or egos, just men?

I'm not sure that you should write another one because I'm not sure that you can best this, but please do write another. Maybe you can get close, and that would be good enough!

all the star in the sky.

Your story really got down to the nitty gritty, showing the incredible pressures that protracted illness can have on a family, especially when it involves a child. Sometimes it is much easier to sit and talk to a friend, than talk to the partner, let's face it, they are under the same pressure and feel the same way. Ray and Marilyn in the story were fortunate that they were able to renew their relationship, all too often in real life this doesn't happen, and results in the break up of the relationship, either before or after the death of the child. Congratulations on writing to my belief, the story of the year, no matter the category it is filed under.

As someone who has been through that kind of loss I think I can say with authority WELL DONE. And thank you for a great story.

Very emotionally powerful. Five stars. Thanks.

A very touching and heartwarming story that could mirror so many marriages. 5 stars isn't enough!

5 stars. - claud137

You Sir; put words on paper. I Sir read a story, a very great story Thank You...

My only child, my son, died of cancer at age 27. That I chose to read your story testifies to the emotional victory my wife and I have won over grief. We did not have the problems experienced in your story. From the start, we leaned on each other as the only person who understood what we were experiencing. We became closer throughout the four years from diagnosis to the end. You did catch the feelings very well, the devastation, the anguish. Five stars.

Really a wonderful story filled with pain and emotion.

Excuse me I have to find more tissue. Thanks for sharing.

It had me shedding a few tears now and then. Great job!

My brother lost his little boy to leukemia. Poor little fella never made it to his first birthday! Sadly, unlike Ray & Marilyn, my brother & his then wife never made it. Miscommunication and blame overtook the grief & within 6 months of his passing, their relationship was over. She took off to another country with their other son. To say my brother was heartbroken was an understatement. My brother now actually wishes that his boy had never been diagnosed, and that he had just passed away earlier. All the chemo & drugs did nothing - the little fella had a sad, painful, little life. My brother eventually found a wonderful lady whom he has been with now for over 20 years, & they have a wonderful son (plus she had another boy by an ex). But it sure was hard. The happy ending here is most appropriate because it picks us all up who have been through it or close to it. Sadly, reality is often different with cancer kids. Many of those marriages fail like my brother's. Mate, your best story yet (& that's saying something). Not sexy, just beautiful. Perhaps it should have went in "Romance". Ken

Oshaw you are now the best writer at this site. One note the ending you brought religion into this story. Man wrote all bibles.so is there a god.?

No one likes to lose a child .

Great job. Tonight I go to sleep feeling just a little bit better.