Ellie

Good start

Then total rubbish

Not bad

Not bad, but not great! What did she look like? She was hot but that's all you said.
So she likes to fuck and don't want a boyfriend, now that's a guys wet dream.
More pussy waiting in line? Ok make a story about it.

Started as if it could be a winner...

But then it devolved into some sex without any sort of eroticism. Instead of their clothes flying off, where was her seductiveness -- saying "Fuck me now" is not seductiveness. Slow, slow, slow. Why did she have to be wearing no underwear? Removing her outer clothes and then seeing her in her bra and panties and feeling her first with them on would have been nice. Then their removal -- by her or by him -- with first seeing, then touching, then tasting before fucking would have been sexy.

There's so much that COULD have been done that wasn't.

I gave it three stars for potential; it didn't rally deserve even that many.

Promising start, then....rubbish. 1*

Dont lose hope

Great start, great story, just lost steam at the end. more detail, make us beg before getting to the good stuff.