Eden

I love your stories!

You write such a damn good story. I have never given anything other than a 5 (since they don't have 6 or higher). One minor nit, and it did pull me from the story, is HMMWVs don't have spare tires. They are run flats with aluminum cores inserted. Other than that, damn fine story! Your story parallels a kid from Just Cause who tried to take some of Noriega's money found on Noriega's island. Kid got caught. Oh, well. Please keep the stories coming.

Another great story!

WHEN EX MILITARY HOOK UP AFTER DEPLOYMENT

they understand and live by vows and they go looking for any serpents in Eden. TK U MLJ LV NV

I liked it

and I found it LOL funny over his shitty marriage proposal, that she quickly and gratefully accepts anyway. Romance? Hell no! Only takes hard work and military style efficiency to get the job done. (only took a year to get around to having the convo in the first place....) Although you used several themes that you have featured in your romance stories before, I appreciate anything new from you.
If anything, it needed a little more conflict, and depth to the money angle. He shouldn't have gotten away with it quite as easily as he did. She should have represented more of an obstacle and challenge to overcome. I think you could have definitely done more to examine and explore their relationship. I kept waiting for the big reveal that she had taken money too. Or may be she was sent to investigate him, but falls in love, and they have to work together to frame someone else to take the blame. Maybe you couldn't do this, because in their hearts they had to stay "good people". But SOMETHING more was needed. No, this didn't need to be an 8 page primer on house building, and livestock raising (I think you had just the right amount in the three pages we did have), but a few more pages to develop the drama/conflict/character development would have gone a long way to making this story GREAT instead of just good.
Still, I thank you for your effort, and look forward to the next.

3*s

I like your story . But it could have been so much better. You failed to bring the
reader close to your characters !
We share nothing of their experiences or feelings as they bond in the war zone.
You describe his visit to his parents and rest of the family. That is another missed
opportunity to get the reader emotionally involved with your protagonist . The rest of his experience adjusting to civilian life is glossed over . Etc, etc.

The last few stories you have written all have this superficial and hurried style. I don't know what happened . Most of the older stories you wrote really grab the reader. We love or hate the characters as the case may be. Hopefully you will return the form soon. As I truely enjoy your stories in all the catagories you submit to. Lol, can you see I am not a writer!!

Write again and I will read again

AMerryMan

You're Kidding . . . Aren't You?

This is the weakest of your stories. It really didn't go anywhere except to follow the money. In the past you have given us characters that we empathized with or hated. But they had meaning. What happened?

a good story

just a bit clinical and colorless. it felt rather mechanical. not your usual passion.

I always look forward to one of your stories, this was great, but lacked the usual lustre!

For some reason this story seemed so mechanical and with lack of personality that have so much become a part of romance stories I have become accustomed to with your writings. I could easily relate to the desires of both main characters and the setting was beautiful. The plot line of the missing money was plausible, but some how was a distracting event clear through the whole story. Five stars because of the quality writing and a favorite because you are. Looking forward to the stories being set back in Prineville again! :) Smiling Jaybird :)

What's with all the whiny commentators?

This was a delightful, entertaining story. Don't listen to the boo birds. Keep writing!

Wonderful

Every now and then a feel good story is just what's needed. Thank you!

NOT EVERY EDEN HAS SNAKES IN THE GARDEN.

some times there are Hidden Spectres. TK U MLJ LV NV

Hmm - I think many may have missed some of the qualities of this story

The story of two people who restrained themselves when under enormous stress, then found the way to each other when the pressure was off. Added to that the temptation inm a place where temptations abounded and so many others abused not just the situation but in many cases people too - they simply took a bit of stolen booty - not good - not honorable - not earth shaking or painful to any other good people.

They did not do right but they deserve their happiness - more power to them.

A fun story - thank you -

a much better use of the bundles of cash

if the money were to fall into anyone's hands, I would rather it be someone like Sam and Tom (romantic fool that he is).

Language

FFS - what is it with you writers on this site who use "visit" to mean the same as "talk" ,orr "chat""?
It is just so wrong - it's not English!

Loved it!!

I loved your story of the two soldiers. If we paid our military what they were worth, then there wouldn't be stories like this. Keep writing!!

a great little story

I'm sure we will never know about stuff that went missing in any war....just look at all the spivs in the wars who made a fortune on the back of misery....

Yes...

I love it!😁