Stories written in the second person are torture. It is like listening to fingernails scraping across asbestos. If you want to be read, please write in the first or third person.
Great recounting of a nude beach experience - brings back memories of times my ex and I shared though we never quite made it to two guys - one was enough!
by
Anonymous06/10/14
Hard to read
I couldn't finish. That style of narrative just didn't work.
by
Anonymous06/10/14
Impossible to finish
Your idea is good, but you need to switch viewpoints (why would you tell her what she had done). And use a spell AND grammar checker, or even better a proofreader.
Keep trying, if you work at it you could be very good.
As was said, your writing style could use a bit of tweaking.
But more importantly, the story is outstanding... very erotic.
by
Anonymous09/08/16
Watching nude wife being watched by horny males.
My young wife and I would go to the nude beach. She would lay by herself face up. I would enjoy watching at a distance as horny males stopped by her and stared at her pussy and tits. Afterwards we would jump in the water (fresh water lake). She would dive in front of me and give me a blow job as dozens people of watched it
English
For Future Reference
Stories written in the second person are torture. It is like listening to fingernails scraping across asbestos. If you want to be read, please write in the first or third person.
Hot! And not just the weather!
Great recounting of a nude beach experience - brings back memories of times my ex and I shared though we never quite made it to two guys - one was enough!
Hard to read
I couldn't finish. That style of narrative just didn't work.
Impossible to finish
Your idea is good, but you need to switch viewpoints (why would you tell her what she had done). And use a spell AND grammar checker, or even better a proofreader.
Keep trying, if you work at it you could be very good.
Very erotic!
As was said, your writing style could use a bit of tweaking.
But more importantly, the story is outstanding... very erotic.
Watching nude wife being watched by horny males.
My young wife and I would go to the nude beach. She would lay by herself face up. I would enjoy watching at a distance as horny males stopped by her and stared at her pussy and tits. Afterwards we would jump in the water (fresh water lake). She would dive in front of me and give me a blow job as dozens people of watched it
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Beach or
More submissions by 008dick.