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Snail Tale II

byOldbear63©
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Comments (4)
by Anonymous

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by Trixareforkids06/15/14

Much cleaner

I liked the original but this is much cleaner and smoother in the telling. Great edit.

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by Ashesh906/16/14

Oldbear , i liked it

Then & i love it Now !!5-ed.

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by Cleardaynow06/17/14

Very fine writing

I am very glad you both edited the original and submitted this. It is a bit hard to stand back and see how it must look to someone who has not seen the original – and the discussions that followed. I am impressed that essentially you cut out rather than adding. The removal of the 2nd and 3rd verses was right. You now have captured the essence of what you felt and wanted to express simply and elegantly and it is a very fine piece of writing.

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by HoneyAdored07/01/14

Loved it the first time

Loved it the second time

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