All Comments on 'One Man's Heart'

I guess you need to double check your work before you submit it unless you really like your story so much that you put 6 or 7 copies of this story (I gave up after 5) one right after another. I take it that you didn't have an editor look at it before submitting it. Bit of advise, keep your eyes open so that you don't do this again.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. I did notice the story was repeated several times but it didn't detract from how much I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Well written and uplifting. Thanks.

Wonderful story your writing is a great as it has ever been. I really enjoy how in this story there is not the rush to the end. Some constructive criticism the flow an dialogue of the storyline is first rate the mechanical error of the repeating story shows where an editor might be of assistance. Also if I was to read the story and try to pick out the flaws I thought I had seen a few typos. But that being said keep up the great stories I read the romance category for happy endings and I know yours will deliver. Former naval aviator.

You only need the story once, not 5 or 6 or 7 times.

The story was done on page 5 why are there 34 pages of repetition ?

But why did you have my eyes get wet?

Thank you for sharing this and te other stories with us.

Enjoyable story. Predictable in spots, but you left enough hooks in there to keep it interesting. So you had a goof and for some reason it repeated itself. So what? Did it detract from the story? No. Disregard Anony Mouse, who doesn't even have the courtesy to sign his comments.

When I submitted this story it was only five pages in length. I have absolutely no idea how it was replicated so many times. Gremlins at work???????

It's like a Grimm's Fairy Tale, after you hear (read) it seven times, you pretty much know it well enough to recite it to your kids... I give it 35 stars...

Was looking forward to a long story and then I find it was just an error other then that great story

At some point you will have to stop using the tragic death plot device to advance the story. You've used it in 2 stories already (this one and I've always wanted to be a Cop).

You write Romance well. Keep it up.

Anonymous Andy

Despite the snafu, I found your story interesting and well written. There are several respected authors on this site who've also successfully used the death of a wife ( a mustang, military service, farm in southwest Missouri, etc) in their writing. I see no problem using it again in your stories.

so my only comment refers to page two where you called the recruit depot "Paris Island". As an anal Marine the spelling of the name "Paris" was changed to "Parris" on May 3, 1919. Keep up the writing as I enjoy your stories.

Another good one. The ending kind of surprised me. You always expect the next one to be the permanent one. And enjoyable surprise to. A short life does not have to be a bad death, as long as the person that passes was happy with their life. Any death of course is bad, but remembering the good times helps.

Don't listen to the morons complaining about your writing as a formula. It's the heart and sole of the story that matters.

Thank you TestSubjet001. I am all ways pleased to read comments from those who appreciate the time and effort it takes to produce a story. Stay tuned for another romance story to appear when I return from holiday.

This is a great story...almost a happy ending...but it all worked out!

i enjoyed the story, but damn, if i were this guy i would be afraid to marry again. it was looking like that would be a death sentence. still liked it. 5*'s

I like ur stories. .. thanks for the good read :)

Adding u to fav authors... and will keep checking for more :)

Like another reader I found the fellow had a lot of courage after the death of his first two young wives to marry for the third time. I don't think I could have as I would feel I must be bad luck to any women who married me.

George in Omaha

I reread this story and cry my eyes out every single time. What higher praise can be given to an author than to say his story touched your heart.

so many bad people

so much unhappiness

so much repetition of the same thing over and over again

so little substance to be found in such trivial people.

It is a good thing the dead and dying are able to give the weak and easily led some direction. without them there would be no story to tell.

is swimming in pussy... Good for him...

but why you gotta kill everyone he marries???

it's like he's fucking bad luck for everyone...

Its a good story.

But you really didn't have to write Tracy off.

I have just been informed that my story 'One Man's Heart' won First Place in the June Reader's Choice Contest. Wow!!!!!! What a surprise.

Thank you readers for making this possible. This award has strengthened my resolve to continue writing.

Again, thank you for your encouragement.

GatorRick

There is always more room for another heart for the right people and animals.

If you did not like the ending to this story, write your own and end it how you will.

Well, I've read it again, again. It just gets better each reading.

Picked this to read for its high ratings after reading your latest " ... Big Boats". It's so good. I'm gonna have to change my favorite category for editing to Romance with this story's tags of love story, relationships & happy ending. I envy whoever does your editing. It would be so enjoyable to be involved with your writing. Kudos!

Gunner is my hero, I am glad the folks did not decide to sacrifice him for his good deed. It sounds as if the author has lived with a lot of tragedy. This was a great story.

Feel like this story was to fast. I liked it up until the guy started talking about his dead wife, family history etc etc. Guys don't drop bombs like that on people they just meet. They just dont. Sry, if they would have known eachother for some time sure, maybe. But the second day.... come on. Story needs more content. Everything happened way to fast. Love your grammar and storytelling just not the pace you set. Ty for writing. Hope I see more works from u in the future. just slow the it down. It just didn't feel real. Hope I didn't come off to strong, I think u have talent. Just needs some work.

Nice story!

Would benefit from a bit more depth added to the characters and action.

Page 1 was promising. But it went totally downhill after that. The protagonist's banal monologue on his past on page 2 had me skimming through the rest of the story.

Characterisations really challenged my suspension of disbelief. The good people were grand, skilled people geniuses and the bad were outright despicable. Would have preferred more depth to them all.

PoV changes were a tad disconcerting as well.

Decent effort but not hall of fame stuff.

Just reread for about the hundredth time and it's still one of my favorite stories. I never grow tired of reading it.

Knock it off, Gator!!! I've spent the morning reading your stories, and this one just became one of my favorites. There must be an awful lot of pollen in my apartment because my eyes keep tearing. My wife can't stand seeing a grown man - a combat veteran twice over no less - crying over some damned story. So, she says knock it off. I smile tolerantly at her and turn to your next story. Keep them coming, Gator. And Gunner reminded me of my German Shepherd Murphy. What a fabulous way to immortalize one's pet. Thank you for a marvelous, memorable story. SF VET

A good tale, but I got confused by the occasionally different PoV and the continuity.

Thanks for a good story

HP

Great story! Can't stop seeing Scott doesn't have any good luck with his wives (2 out 3 ain't bad) Great ending with the kids and the newsof their pregnancy? Gator I'm not going to blow sunshine up your rear posterior nor will I lie your stories have a special place in my heart! Thank you! Oh Gunner wow what a dog my silly dog she licks everyone but I love her! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Magnificent story, a great dramatic romance and without explicit sex, something that is thankful sometimes.

Of course, Scott does not seem to have had much luck (at least until the end) with their marriages, the misfortune seems to have fattened him in his two first marriages.

Fortunately, the author put a happy ending, but with touches of sadness.

Anyway, I give you 5*.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

I have read this story three times now, and it still moves me every time. Now officially my favorite story on this site.

I must be living in a different universe from the other commentors because I thought this was a dull, predictable tale written in a trite fashion and deserved no more than the 2* I gave it. Wife dies, second wife gets hit in a car accident with seat belt and air bags deploying properly (quite unlikely) and wife's sister is waiting around for her sister to die so she can marry our hero. Yuchhh.

well done

and they both work for betterment of family and loved ones, TK U MLJ LV NV

All I can say is what a great tale of love.

Nice, sad but nice, touching the heart it was.

Keep on thé good work. It Stills earns 5 stars, wish there were more.

J C P

This guy was a modern day Ben Cartwright of sorts. Great story.

Well, it's nice the love interests don't hit or insult each other. That's a serious problem with entries in romance-everywhere actually-but it seems more out of place here. Oh, then there's endemic crying, but it seemed muted here.

The story was written creatively enough, but it really stuck to the "rescue young and younger from abusers older dies telling the younger to take over" fantasy line like someone clinging into a life preserver in 20ft waves. And it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for what follows.

Let me recall what happened before Tracy and Scott declared love. He picked her up on the road. He saves her sister too. He bought clothes, sheltered and offered an opportunity for a job. She gets it, is reassured it wasn't a set up. Coffee, something something, surprise declaration of love. While fulfilling the fantasy is paramount when you're writing a story for that purpose, I think there should have been a bit more effort into developing this part of the story. I know more about commands the dog responds to than discrete events that happened leading up to surprise love declaration.

Maybe not, and helping someone plus familiarity and a chance happening that put them in close proximity for 3 months is sufficient for romantic love. And then, I'm left wondering...things.

I stumbled onto this story/writer.

This follows a classic romance plot of older rich guy finds and protects younger destitute girl. And it does it very well, with 21st century technology and trappings. It had the attention getting features of good girls rescued from bad guys (more than once), a super-trained guard dog, and police activity.

This is one of the great romance stories on Literotica, leaving me struggling to hold back tears. I did not think about the writing because my mind was on the story, which means the writing was effectively carrying the story rather than interfering. Much of the story was carried by well-done dialog/conversation (rather than narration), examples being Tracey learning of his previous wife by his report to her (rather than the author narrating it), and the old man's attention-getting report of the stabbing/clubbing incident.

Considerable number of improbabilities, including propitious finding of girl on road, knowing or being related to so many of the sheriff's department,

Tracey already being outstanding expect in needed office skills, etc. But these, while somewhat far-fetched, actually added interesting flavor.

A very, very good read.

Paul in Oklahoma

Oh the memories, the sweet memories you dredged up for me, although I think of my wonderful wife who passed almost 4 yrs ago and of our kids and the great family dogs we had during the passage of time, sometimes a great story brings out the memories in a deeper way. Damn the allergies, keeps making my eyes drip. Thank you SOOO much for your writing skills you are one of my favorite Authors. Keep it up!!

Sad but beautiful story.

Starting with one of your story..and decided to read all !

Voted all 4* and 5*..

Writes great things

Rescues, action, heartbreak, love and companionship, a little hokey but it brought a tear to my eye. Keep writing!

Silly Pamela. Doesn't she see the pattern? She's a marked woman.

Really hard to accept, but I did and I loved the Story! 5* and now, back to the author's other stories!

Great story. Some good, some sad and over all a wonderful story.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I would say he’s a lucky guy, marrying Pamela, having kids with her, growing old with her. But then…he did bury two other wives he loved before he got to Pamela. Another commenter said it, maybe Pamela is a marked woman. Could Scott be that unlucky? Could GatorRick be that cruel? Inquiring minds need to know.

Despite errors, just as great the second time through.

Could Scott be anymore "perfect"? good main plot, guy saves girl(s) dog saves lives, etc

It's a good story I really enjoying it,just a little disappointed when you killed Tracy off

Bummer! A really good story until Tracy was killed off. With Barbara already having died young,it was “overkill” having Tracy die too. The story should have ended with Pamela ending up with Brad while Scott and Tracy grew old together.

Good story until you killed off Tracy. Enough with it. Could have been a 5, but I'm giving it a 3.

Yeah, I liked this story the first time I read it until Tracy died. Then it became too bittersweet. If he had lost all of his money I would have called him Job.

This is a good story written poorly. You really didn’t need to kill Tracy off. That was unnecessary and didn’t add to the story.

you did right by gunner

I agree that Tracy's death was a bit much. Also, for me personally, the "development" was a bit too fast: as soon as the characters met, they fell in love ?!? Highly unlikely !

IMVHO it really is a pity that the author didn't take the time to nurture this slowly growing little plant - even if that might not have been very popular in this forum !

Nevertheless 4/5 stars !

Predictable

Fantastic you write good tearjerkers

I think that this is your best, that I have read, so far... 4 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐