I enjoyed this little bit of miss-direction, by the title I assumed the car salesman was going to do "the credit check" loved that it was her husband and that the 'exposure' of her was really more about him. You wrote a well told story, the flow was perfect and the story line was great. A few missed words etc., was all that kept the fifth star from being notched. I do hope you continue to post, your style and erotic sense are very good. I will look for shy-slut in the new story categories hoping to see more from you. Thanks for the morning fun - Kevin
Agree almost 100% with Kevin. An amazing debut. I, too, was pleasantly fooled by the misdirection of the title. Didn't notice any missing words as Kevin did, but saw one "mis-word," where you used "site" when you meant "sight." Other than that your grammar and sentence structure was 99% better than most writers in this forum. The one other problem I had with it was never giving the dealership employee a name. Constantly referring to him simply as his occupational title got redundant.
I'd suggest maybe your next effort would follow up with a session with that employee, but you've made your main character too likeable and I don't want her to be an adulteress.
English
Nice Debut
I enjoyed this little bit of miss-direction, by the title I assumed the car salesman was going to do "the credit check" loved that it was her husband and that the 'exposure' of her was really more about him. You wrote a well told story, the flow was perfect and the story line was great. A few missed words etc., was all that kept the fifth star from being notched. I do hope you continue to post, your style and erotic sense are very good. I will look for shy-slut in the new story categories hoping to see more from you. Thanks for the morning fun - Kevin
Agree almost 100% with Kevin. An amazing debut. I, too, was pleasantly fooled by the misdirection of the title. Didn't notice any missing words as Kevin did, but saw one "mis-word," where you used "site" when you meant "sight." Other than that your grammar and sentence structure was 99% better than most writers in this forum. The one other problem I had with it was never giving the dealership employee a name. Constantly referring to him simply as his occupational title got redundant.
I'd suggest maybe your next effort would follow up with a session with that employee, but you've made your main character too likeable and I don't want her to be an adulteress.
Very Nice
A very refreshing story, very much to my own individual kinks (including the same first name as the husband).
Twist
Good story, well written with a little twist that I enjoyed. Loads of potential for the next episodes. Please keep them coming.
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