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Oh yes, please!
More please!! This has the makings of a great series, should you wish to continue their story from this raunchy little beginning. And I so hope that you do. ; -)
-ScarletDefiance
Not Very Intriguing...
I came across one of your other stories randomly. Princess, I believe it was called, and didn't care for the particular style that you decided to use. So, I decided to check this one out after reading your comments to give your skills another shot. I don't want to sound harsh, but this was really dull. Like... really really dull. You don't seem half bad as a writer. Your story just wasn't captivating in any way. A lot of details... none of it interesting. I had to force myself to finish it because it just came off as sort of pretentious... the characters had flat personalities, and the plot was cheesie. Sorry, just being honest. Read it yourself from an outside perspective... you'll see what I mean. It's boring. Good luck on your next one.
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