Enjoyed story, but have question about age of Grandmother?
Grandson is 18; Mother was 20 when impregnated, that was 38 years ago. Grandmother is 52, so she was 13 or 14 when she had daughter?
by
Anonymous09/27/14
died
The story died a fast death within a few lines, due to the author not having any knowledge of basic human anatomy. Its NOT "aureoles" but "areloa, areolae, or areolas" either learn the proper medical and anatomy terms.
by
Anonymous09/27/14
Story is confusing......
"His father had violated his bond with me and taken his mother by accident......"
Confusing as hell. Did you even graduate from high school?
I did understand the language, but I suck at math anyway.
Would like continuation about son and grandma.
by
Anonymous09/27/14
Ya, the math of this threw me off!
Agree with the previous post about the ages of the characters! Also, it was difficult to take it seriously when Grandma was groping his "gentiles". Author, please note the correct word is "genitals".
by
Anonymous10/03/14
hot
just did some editing of my own work and another's the other day and it renewed my appreciation for good stylized story-telling. this was a good read. it is easy to forget about the voice you meant to use. good use of position prepositions and verbs. I could visualize everything happening very well.
English
Question about ages
Enjoyed story, but have question about age of Grandmother?
Grandson is 18; Mother was 20 when impregnated, that was 38 years ago. Grandmother is 52, so she was 13 or 14 when she had daughter?
died
The story died a fast death within a few lines, due to the author not having any knowledge of basic human anatomy. Its NOT "aureoles" but "areloa, areolae, or areolas" either learn the proper medical and anatomy terms.
Story is confusing......
"His father had violated his bond with me and taken his mother by accident......"
Confusing as hell. Did you even graduate from high school?
Rubbish
silver dollars,pencil erasers , same old same old
OK. I enjoyed it.
I did understand the language, but I suck at math anyway.
Would like continuation about son and grandma.
Ya, the math of this threw me off!
Agree with the previous post about the ages of the characters! Also, it was difficult to take it seriously when Grandma was groping his "gentiles". Author, please note the correct word is "genitals".
hot
just did some editing of my own work and another's the other day and it renewed my appreciation for good stylized story-telling. this was a good read. it is easy to forget about the voice you meant to use. good use of position prepositions and verbs. I could visualize everything happening very well.
Amazing work!
Please don't slow down now! Write on and bring more great and exciting works for us! Thank you!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Grandmother's Joy Pt. 01 or
More submissions by whouston9058.