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English
Editing
Grammar.... No bra but rips bra off
Newbie pulling panties off
Good attempt needs editing
You kept switching from 1st person to 3rd person. The overall concept was ok, just work on your grammar.
Needs editing, and research
" Adrianne was short, no more than 5'5"" 5'5" is actually the average height of an American woman, and that is ABOVE the height of other women, so 5'5" is by no means "short".
A few flaws
But not bad. Not bad at all for a start! Need to keep it going.
Cute
Excited me. I have had many such fantasies.
Debbie
Nice
Has me dripping, sweetie.
Proofread
You did go several times from third person "they", to first person " she /I /we". Clean up and it may get more stars.
SPELLING!
"shuttered" to close a window with shutters
"shuddered" to shake or shiver
"your" instead of "you're" - really??? How did this get by the editors?
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