I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story but the end really caught me by surprise.
Thank you for sharing.
by
Anonymous06/26/14
such an untimely death to a story ;'(
Such a weak finale BogartsBoss. I had just settled in for a nice multi-chapter story with Mack and ladies making friends, about to discover how kinky his sister is then, jump! Three months of planning skipped in Ashley's intro, then finding out how kinky their neighbors are plus months of evenings with the guys drinking beer and puttering on the tbird skimmed over in mere paragraphs then: JUMP! He's dead, left them 2-something mill. The end!??! :-P ~tg
There's finishing a story, ending a story, getting to a stopping point.... and then there is what you did. You had a good story line going, but to cut it off like that is just plain WRONG.
When a life is ended so suddenly, the result is exactly the abruptness you made us feel! There are survivors, and their story could go on, but it is Mack's story, and it is quite proper for it to end here, as prematurely as his accidental death - isn't that the nature of a fatal accident?
I would've had Enrique gouge out the kid's eyes - since he wasn't using them anyway, and it would keep him from driving over anyone else...
English
Thank you... I think.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story but the end really caught me by surprise.
Thank you for sharing.
such an untimely death to a story ;'(
Such a weak finale BogartsBoss. I had just settled in for a nice multi-chapter story with Mack and ladies making friends, about to discover how kinky his sister is then, jump! Three months of planning skipped in Ashley's intro, then finding out how kinky their neighbors are plus months of evenings with the guys drinking beer and puttering on the tbird skimmed over in mere paragraphs then: JUMP! He's dead, left them 2-something mill. The end!??! :-P ~tg
Cop out
You got bored, one can see it in the writing, but the ending really was mean.
NOT the way to do it...
There's finishing a story, ending a story, getting to a stopping point.... and then there is what you did. You had a good story line going, but to cut it off like that is just plain WRONG.
no complaint about the abrupt ending here -
When a life is ended so suddenly, the result is exactly the abruptness you made us feel! There are survivors, and their story could go on, but it is Mack's story, and it is quite proper for it to end here, as prematurely as his accidental death - isn't that the nature of a fatal accident?
I would've had Enrique gouge out the kid's eyes - since he wasn't using them anyway, and it would keep him from driving over anyone else...
an abrupt and depressing ending!
You had them get married and then you killed him off.
It is dangerous being a male character in your stories, they often have car accidents.
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