All Comments on 'Subway Girl Ch. 05'

This story of yours is easily looking like a good book I might pick up in a library. You are slowly developing, not only the main characters Ray and Alicia, but the support players, Don, William and you even gave the little old lady in the church depth. While I can see Ray growing and Alicia opening up and their relationship developing a foundation. Alicia is getting Ray to become more human in resuming his life to include reconnecting with his friends and family. Alicia is showing her determination and her compassion. She is getting Ray to understand that life and happiness is not connected to money alone, but that people and connecting with them are integral to that happiness. Ray now has determination to improve his job skills and his education and he is bringing the woman out of Alicia. The subtle movements in this drama, buying her coffee, going to William seeking knowledge, and his witty discussions with Alicia via text etc are all things the Ray in the first Chapter never contemplated, nor I suspect would Alicia. While I am 'hooked' on this story, I am willing to wait for each Chapter as you get deeper into this work, you may need to stretch your submission deadlines, if only to maintain the level of excellence you have so far exhibited as the story lines grow more complex. I for one consider maintenance of that excellence more of a priority then the weekly deadline. I will be here to read when you are ready to post, regardless of the schedule. Thank you for this refreshingly good story.

I very rarely venture into the romance category, and usually a story with this kind of plot would not even catch my interest. But I've been eagerly awaiting each chapter since I decided to check it out after ch.2 went up, and I haven't been disappointed.

The two of them are absolutely adorable.

And, I agree that your character development is quite good.

Omg, those scratches on Alicia's hand----does she self-harm? :(

I hope things get better for her!

Wow, so much to worry about after this episode. Scratches (they really bother me), grades leading to breaking off the relationship, her parents low expectations.

You are also doing a wonderful job with the secondary characters. I really appreciate Don.

I would definitely buy your books :)

I thoroughly enjoy reading each chapter and look forward to more. Thank you.

You've created a very addictive story, I find myself waiting for the next chapter to arrive.

You are presenting us with a very captivating tale and the only down side is the wait between chapters. Your dialog between the minor characters and Ray is excellent and really helps give the story more dimension. This chapter was interesting in that you seem to be revealing that Alicia has some issues that they are going to have to address. She is not the completely together person she appears to be and I suspect that Ray is going to be thrust into the role of helping her before the tale is over.

Thank you for being so reliable. This story really gives me a lift on my Saturday mornings. It really has been setting the tone for my weekends.

And uh, oh; It appears that Alicia might be a cutter. Why are the pretty ones always full of crazy? And why are they always worth it to us? Loving someone who hurts themselves is a gut-wrenching thing. Ask me how I know. Even the possibility makes me worry for both Ray and Alicia.

Well done, Donna. Way to complicate matters and make me wish for next week to arrive. :D

I've been looking forward to your Saturday installments since chapter 2. Good slow growing story with the promise of some fully realized characters. I assume this story will go on for a while since you are still introducing and fleshing out characters.

I echo the sentiment of SS. Take the time you need to maintain quality rather than schedule. we look forward to our weekend fix, but there is nothing more disappointing than a good story that goes off the rails because the author hasn't thought through the ending.

Keep it up. You write very well.

Anonymous Andy

This has truly been a wonderful read so far, anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

I really enjoy how the two of them are drifting into a relationship without a) a lot of drama and b) going for the wham, bam we're in love. It almost reads like a true story - although how the two met seems a bit far fetched, but even that has a real feel to it.

Thanks for the writing, I'm looking forward to another installment.

Really am enjoying this story as it goes along...keep on doing such a good job of tale telling!

I was waiting for this episode to say so, knowing that you post on Saturdays, and that it gives me a big sense of happiness to subscribe to.

But like others, I've sensed an issue with Alicia, the scratches on her hands, that makes me think she is not so okay as she seems. And we've all thought is about Ray so far....

Although, thinking about it, why the hell did Alicia go up and hug Ray that first day??

I really do love this story and their coming together, and all sorts of life becoming more important to Ray. Maybe we should see more about Alicia's life as well.

Like others have said DB, I've become used to your Saturday postings, but if that doesn't work for the story, then sod it. I will find you whenever you post!! xxx

Your series has prompted me to write my first ever comment. I'm really looking forward to your next instalment. I like the episodic nature.

I am not usually interested in this subject matter but for some reason I gave ch 1 a fast skim and stuck around for the next 4. Nice writing and the characters feel real. Keep up the good work but please give that poor slob a handy at the very least in the near future.

Just found this story today and I want to say it is fantastic. No wham bang crap.

My fav chapter so far. Can you guess why?

Why? Please tell. What is it about chapter 5?

Hahahahaha, you are so clever, so cheeky. Thanks for not making it obvious. Way to keep me on my toes. ;)

Asks questions, helps people in the street and plays soccer.. The development of the story is slow and gentle.

Subway girl is a ordinary story about ordinary people and doing ordinary things. Stuffed full of nice ideas, nice people.

I am enjoying this story emensily, and fear it will run out of chapters.

If you use pop culture references need to get right

Lara Croft

:-)

And, because I am coming to this trilogy out of order I am beginning to see how the characters overlap and wish I had started with Subway Girl instead of Flower Girl.

Help me with one question, is the sweet grandmother from the rummage sale Beverly (nana)?

btw, it is nice to see Stay Human every week night, but in the park would have been nicer.

I more or less knew him already as I read Flower Girl before this one, but somehow (perhaps because it's not as often) here he - and his way of speaking - stands out even more, at least for me. Every time he appears and starts speaking I can't help but smile.

Oh, I like this story as a whole, not just William. I just wanted to point out a greatly portrait character :)

I've already read Flower Girl and I think it's really rad how you wrote this in such a different voice. It makes sense, of course, because they're different characters, but it's quite impressive to see executed so well

"Goodnight, Ray. Try not to think about me too much."

Can these two get any sweeter?

Don't answer that. And don't ask me what I'm drinking. I get a bit maudlin when I'm drinking.

The line between lost and loser can be finer than a spider web in the rain.

Great story. Terrific characters. How do you not like the music of John Batiste?

lovely!

Shades of Dickens, 'it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...' the economic disparity is so vast on Manhattan, it rivals Israel to Gaza.