All Comments on 'Internet Romance for Beginners'

by BatsandGlamour

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  • 24 Comments
Masta_SplintaMasta_Splintaover 18 years ago
Thank You

A sincere and geniune thanks for this post.

Just as in the real world, some people are more sexually experienced than others, this posting helps people like me, who may have experience in the real world, but remain cyber virgins.

Thanks for a brilliant and informative post, I'm sure it will help those of us out there that need it!

Kirei_naKirei_naabout 18 years ago
Greatly appreciated...

I just discovered your "How-to" series and I rather enjoy it. As I'm a virgin and don't have much experience with sexual matters, it's a great way for me to get information without feeling silly for not knowing this stuff already. Thanks again and write me back sometime, if you want.

noxiousblondenoxiousblondeabout 18 years ago
Ack!

It was all too true. And yes you can definately get your wee heart broken. *goes back to gluing hers together again*

Bridget69Bridget69about 18 years ago
I am below...

a beginner since I've never had an online relationship, but I agree about the fine line between fantasy and reality and what happens when the two collide.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Mine is a sucess!

I've been in an online relationship for about a year now, with a younger man. We are both in unhappy real life relationships. Not only have we emailed, but we've exchanged pictures and IM and webcam in realtime, so we know exactly what the other looks like. We've had some deep discussions, some mind-blowing cyber sex, and have built up trust and honesty between us. We love each other and are finding the means to leave our other situations. It's now to the point where we plan to meet in person later this year. Some people just happen to find the right partners for them on the internet, and I'm one of the lucky ones.

Kimberly39Kimberly39about 18 years ago
Just be careful

I was in an online relationship for 9 months before it turned into a 5 year, long distance relationship with a 1000 miles between us. The things that you say are true...some are looking for the thrill online and some are sure that the connection they are feeling can turn into something more tangible. The problem comes when both people start out wanting and then having something tangible and one of them can't resist the thrill of the online chase...especially when your real relationship is one weekend a month. For me, I'll never do it again...way too heartbreaking.

spreadmywingsspreadmywingsalmost 18 years ago
I did and iam very ......

well I will be the first to tell any one ,that yep all this happened , and I did take it ferther..we meet and yes sex was awsum.every thing we had told one another ,what we new of each other was all up front and so true ...and yes Iam in love ,we have meet a few times ...me in arizona,her in wisconsin. I know we will be together soon .just a few things to settle here,and I am on my way to be with the love of my life ..

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 18 years ago
Nice...very nice.

Insightful, well written..and far too true. It was a nice breakdown of the kinds of relationships people can have on and through the internet..and some of the roadblocks you can run into. I've known a few couples who have met in cyberland, had wonderful relationships there, and wound up married to each other from those beginnings. But, from what I've seen, far more often reality and fantasy don't merge too well, if at all.

InMyNextLifeInMyNextLifealmost 18 years ago
Exactly how it is...

The progression of an online relationship is exactly how this author depicts it. I came to Lit chat to explore my uninhibited side being married to my one and only partner who I met when I was 18. He and I are so different, I love sex and foreplay, creating sexual tension and then ravaging eachother whenever the mood takes us over. On the flip side, my husband could be happy with sex once a month and his idea of great sex is one orgasm each, doggy-style. I won't get into that though. I enjoyed the playful chatting in Lit for quite a while, but I quickly got in over my head. One man was very needy in that he always wanted to talk to me exclusively. I am the type who doesn't want to make someone feel bad, so I tried to accomodate him. I just didn't feel a connection. We did speak on the phone and finally exchanged pictures, and I was turned off even more. I would've been better off not knowing what he looked like. Eventually I had to end things, which was difficult, but he had started professing his love for me. It felt wrong. I continued chatting online and found a young man who claimed to be a virgin. We ended up having phone sex as well as long discussions about life and marriage. He sent me some erotic pictures of himself, but I am really not into that. And I didn't click with him as well. I was getting irritated with the men who wanted to know everything about me...whatever happened to quickies online? No strings attached? One more man asked for my MSN ID and I conceeded. I knew that it was a bad idea, but I felt badly saying no. Well, that was 5 months ago, $900 in phonebills, and a near divorce. And I cannot give him up. He lives in Scotland, I am in the US. He is going through a divorce, 50 yrs old, while I am married with 2 small children and 30 yrs old. I have fallen in love with him for so many different reasons...and in doing so, I have fallen out of love with my husband. I never knew anything else until meeting him, and I realize how boring and dull my marriage is. I also realized how passionate I can be. And it is amazing to have such a deep connection with someone. It will never be in reality though, and it breaks my heart. It is affecting my life in so many negative ways...from my job, my marriage, my children, to my everyday daily tasks. He is all that I can think about, and I long to have just one day with him, but I can't. It is nearly killing me. I feel like I am in a twilight zone, I don't know where reality and fantasy end.

No one would have expected this from me; I am intelligent and well-grounded. Or so I thought. I hope that you are careful in your online endeavours. While I don't regret having met my Scottish man, the toll that it is taking on my life is horrible. My life will never be the same.

peppermintpatty2006peppermintpatty2006over 17 years ago
Too Too Funny!

All the different angles...great writing

FallingToFlyFallingToFlyover 17 years ago
Oh well, hells

That completely and totally sums up some serious issues in my life- and I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. So how sad is that? Wonderful, wonderful piece, written with the kind of candor and just the right touch of humor and hot interjections that make someone want to keep reading,not matter how painfully true it may be.

Keep up the good work, B&G.

Christine18Christine18over 17 years ago
so true

hi. i loved what u wrote. i have an online relationship 2 with a very nice guy, i met him 6 months ago and i fell in love with him, we are planning 2 meet , we talked on phone, wrote letters, saw eachother on webcams but im still afraid of something, i still feel insecure, i love what u wrote, it made me think. i really love him, we agree on everything online, cybersex is great 2. i just can hope that we gonna meet and will be this amazing in real 2. we made lots of plans but im afraid my heart will be broken.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Each to their own

I was nodding my head to so many of the above comments. I married young and frankly while we have a good friendship still, sex is no longer hot or the quantity/quality I need. Cybersex relationships fulfill part of that need, it never goes beyond that and I discovered the power of making a guy cum online - delicious! I believe I have it in perspective, I know the limits, I make it work for me and I try very hard to not break hearts. I am upfront and honest with guys and it's those who want some hot fun with a married lady, no strings attached, that I have had my most fun! Great article, keep up the good work!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
very true

this is very well written and very true.. i had a relationship with a guy and i fell in love with him.. and he said he loved me too.. it turned out he was lying to me about alot of things and it broke my heart.. i told him everything about me- name, address, everything.. not a good idea.. guard your information and your heart when going into online relationships

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
it can work out great

As for my internet romance, we have a solid foundation of friendship, which always comes first. We have given all personal info possible and we mail gifts and letters to eachother, as well as telephone. We have an authentic loving relationship and it is based on respect and altruism - not a shred of selfishness in sight. It has been that way for 16 months and we have pledged to be lifers. :) We truly care for and enjoy each other on ALL levels, sex being the least important.

We will not get out of control or wreck each other's lives. My spouse knows of and condones my online relationship with this wonderful friend of mine who I will probably never meet.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
very true

I loved this, so very true. There are so many cautions to take in this too, especially falling in love with the person you're talking to when you know you can't be with them because they're married.

Very well written, nice coverage of all the topics and such :)

CateRockCateRockabout 15 years ago
loved ur help

hey, I get what you mean.... I've had quite a few Internet relationships... Most of them lasted a while.... I'm curently in a cyber/phone relationship with a man in NY. I'm in AL heh well I gathered alot from ur story and I think I learned alot from it. Ive been with him for five months and he and I conect alot sexualy but I think ur story didn't say much on just over the climax, heals in the air, past love.... I mean... I know people includeing me who have fallen more in love over the net than they could in person.... Ur aloud to be yourself online u can come out of the closet online u are aloud to be submissive and domanant.... I think if your looking in the right places u could find who you've been looking for! I do hate not being able to kiss and hold the only man who's ever loved me this much but.... U did have that right about the thaught of this becoming real drives us to keep it going.... I mean hell that's the only way I wake up in the morning.... Well I'll go now again thank you I really enjoyed reading ur story! Good lucky with further posts=]

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Thank U

Thank u... u made me to see it clear...it wouldnt last long

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
One Handed Typing

Thanks for thoughtful article. But how do ya'll type so well with one hand? No, really. I'm serious.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
I've had about ten different internet partners...

I've had about ten different internet partners, nothing more than for either one time cybersex though and only two that could've possibly led to something more. At the moment i've been video calling with this guy for a good ten months, and believe it or not i think i have fallen in love. I am seeing him next saturday for the first time, we're not going to have sex just yet but who knows, it might happen. Did i mention that he's 24 and i'm 16? Obviously i know that it was very very stupid, but now i've found someone real and its totally worth it, but please no one under the age of 21 should engage in relationships like this, its seriously effed up i had to o through quite a few crackpots before i found the one! And the cybersex is always good, he intorduced me to this site and we steal phrases from here, its so useful for dirty talk! thank you for writin this though, it has been interesting and rather hot to read. ;)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
I wonder if he read this?

If he *did* read it, ex-Rep Christopher Lee, R-N.Y. possibly thought the section "Don’t reveal too much personal information" applied to shirtless CONgress critters posing as lobbyists...

If so, I wonder what he thinks now?

;^)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
my internet romance

Ok, for starters you are right! You must be careful with these things and the biggest secret and most important, whether you meet each other or not is DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING or BE READY FOR ANYTHING!

yes i had such a romance also or should i say HAVE.... I met this guy... great guy online and we started talking as FRIENDS that turned into some cybersex. We liked each other very much NOTE: he was from another country like 2500km far

and so we felt so in love and we decided to meet after maybe 9 months. He flew to me.

Ofcourse i was scared like crazy and i felt bad because what if we dont like eachother or he doesnt like me and i do or if I dont like me and he does and he made all this way here but fortunately we cleared this out we spoke about these type of feelings and that we should not expect anything. I have always had problems with trust so it was a big thing for me but also for him too. We met eachtother at the airport when i saw him i was simply in loooooveee like wow surprisingly I was simply dazzled by him and yes now we are happily together! The sex life is crazy-great he's a bit of a freak;) hehe

So it can be possible! In my opinion if you feel it s the right choice do it... but have in mind not to expect more than it is.

Thank you for this article it was truly needed i think!

lots of lovin'

Lady Bom Mee

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
So much better

Thanks for your insightful explanations. Until now i had only one online romance and wouldn't want to miss it though it had to end and she was too much on the sex-only side. Which didn't prevent me from falling for her, and i still enjoy the feeling, the romantic part of it, gazing at her pictures and reading our stuff.

"Real life," i know what you mean but it only describes what we can perceive with our physical senses, which is never enough unless you'd be a robot deprived of all imagination. This wife you describe, clad in her flannel nightgown, uptight and kind of asexual in her restrictive morality, at any time she must have been seductive and adorable too. Why else would he want to marry her?

Everything we consider meaningful gains its significance by the way we look at it through the eyes of imagination. A book is only printed paper, isn't it? All its meaning is impalpable, a novel is pure imagination but aw, how wonderful to get lost in it!

Therefore, i don't care whether or not she's faking or lying at me. I like online romance purely for its own sake, not as a prelude for dating. Yes, i'm an escapist in the same sense Marcel Proust was, one of those people who prefer the realms of imagination and fiction over the blunt and often dull physical reality. Those "real life" acquaintances rambling about matters of their daily life are less real than a good story, which makes some sense after all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Accidental internet romance

I'm curious what your opinion would be on this type of relationship with someone you know. I am a married woman (not happy in my 21 yr marriage, yet NEVER unfaithful in any way until.....) who had a simple friendship with a man and then he deployed. We talked often and communicated on a deep level. Then, the flirting started. I thought, "what the heck, we're just having a little fun" and he agreed that's all it was. We are now months into a fully sexual relationship via internet. What's worse, or better...depending on how you look at it, we both have developed feelings for each other. We know it can't go any further as far as a future together, yet we can't seem to let go of what we have right now. Are we crazy? How did we get into this and how do we back out without getting hurt? This is someone that I will continue to see forever as he is connected to my family. Any advice?

Anonymous
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